Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Blogger's Block

I’ve been suffering from a bit of blogger’s block today; it has been a whole 48 hours since I last posted, and the well has suddenly gone dry. In the month since I started this blog, I have struggled each day to choose which idea to pin down from the cloud of potential posts buzzing around my head: Expose the attachment parenting fraud! Reveal the story of the Bub’s conception! Complain about the shrieking/barfing/drooling/hair-pulling! (But no, it isn’t nice to complain about the husband.) In the place of all that buzz and chatter, all I’ve got now is an echoing silence. And I think I know why.

I am embarrassed.

Not about anything I’ve said in this blog – no, I’m embarrassed about a bunch of tiny, unrelated incidents that have cumulatively left me hiding, red-faced, behind the potted plant. For one thing, I unjustly accused my day-care provider of telling the Bub he was bad. Twice yesterday, I caught him misbehaving and heard him say what sounded for all the world like "Bad boy!" We have never used those words either to describe or rebuke him, so where did they come from? I still don’t know the answer to that question, but I do know that they didn’t come from Shannon, who is the kind of person who effusively thanks telemarketers for calling her house before wishing them a "really nice day." It’s possible that Bub simply invented the phrase for himself, having absorbed the idea that "bad" is the antonym of "good" and thus can be combined with "boy" in useful ways (as in, to tell his sister "Bad boy!" when she nabs his crayons). He is making progress in developing new word-combinations. This afternoon, for instance, while we were playing catch in the yard, he looked up at me with a happy smile and announced, "Booblblbl mama!"

"What did you say?"

He enunciated more clearly, looking me right in the eye. "Boooo-ti-ful mama!"

That moment was almost enough to wipe out my embarrassment from earlier that day. But not quite. My in-laws dropped in for a visit this afternoon, swinging by on their way home from the cottage on Lake Huron. They had some petunias they had offered to plant in our front garden, so my mother-in-law pulled up weeds while my father-in-law poured out the topsoil and planted the seedlings. Hubby and I didn’t lend very much assistance, probably because of how we didn’t know they were there. It was a lovely afternoon, perfect for leaving the front door open and letting the breeze waft in the screen door. The children were sleeping. Both of us were home – hubby ostensibly studying, I ostensibly marking papers. Suffice it to say we didn’t hear the van pull in, but hubby did notice his mother sitting on the front porch as he wandered into the bathroom to, uh, wash up while I dozed on the bed in a lovely - but, alas, abruptly dispelled - state of post-coital relaxation.

I may never look my mother-in-law in the eye again.

17 comments:

J's Mommy said...

I'm so sorry for this but ahhhahahahaha! I couldn't help it. Screw it though. She needs to learn how to knock or ring a doorbell.

Mayberry said...

Eeeeeeeeeeek! (hope the petunias are worth it)

ninepounddictator said...

Ha ha ha ha ha...well, you are a grown woman! (Also, I think it's good in a way - reminds the inlaws how, um, special you are to their son!)

Also, I've had bloggers block recently too. But not for the same reason. Just have. i guess it happens.

Mommy off the Record said...

Oh no! Caught in the buff by your mother-in-law! Yikes!! What did she say? Are you sure she saw you?

P.S. Have I told you yet what an amazing writer you are? If I haven't, let me say it again. You are an amazing writer! Blogger's block my butt. :)

metro mama said...

Yikes!

bubandpie said...

Okay, to clarify: there was no line of sight (she was seated on the porch with her back to the door), but there was definitely line of sound. And they very politely refrained from knocking or announcing their presence in any way, which is not exactly their usual behaviour upon arrival at our home, so I have to suppose they heard something... (okay, now I'm cringing again - the horror, the horror).

Mega Mom said...

I guess that is better than being caught in high school :)

You may not know about this blogging phase. We all go through it. Mine has lasted about 3 months. Now I just write short stupid entries :)

Mrs. Chicky said...

I think I would have moved to Argentina and changed my name.

I'm blushing for you.

Tyler said...

i find it funny that you say you have nothing to say......to write SOOOO much....hurts my brain to read that much some times.....maybe if you acted the blog out and did it as video..now that would be cool.

lynsalyns said...

Oh God I would have DIED on the spot. This was so funny. For me, not for you! :)

I needed that today .... thanks!

Oh, I am still laughing ... laughing ...

Christina said...

LOL! The thought of walking out of the bedroom and running into my in-laws after sex is a terrifying thought!

lildb said...

yikes.

oh, dear god.

Anonymous said...

Wowsers. What a predicament you found yourself in. ha ha ha ha ha ha! I don't think "I" will look at you the same (kidding). Adrienne

Tater and Tot said...

I had to stop by and visit a fellow Gordon Lightfoot fan. What a great writer you are! Thanks for sharing such an interesting? experience with us. I'm sure your in-laws are delighted with their unexpected visit.

Perhaps for the next holiday, you could surprise them with a cellular telephone. You could have them also sign a contract of some sort saying that, if coming over, they will be legally bound to use it. And maybe have someone invent a 10 block alarm system of some sort. A gadget that you could implat into their car to let you know when they are within that radius. Just a thought.

Great blogging! I'll be back often to visit!

bubandpie said...

Thanks for the sympathy you guys. I'm trying to remind myself that, what with the existence of Bub and Pie, they probably suspected already that this kind of thing was going on...

Tyler, you always make me laugh. I don't know how to add video footage, so I guess that option will have to wait for another post.

Tater and Tot - those are helpful suggestions! Thanks for the visit, and the kind words. (And hey, everybody - go visit T&T's blog - she has exciting news!)

Emily said...

Really? Blogging only one month now? Weren't you recently talking about the intensity of early bloggerhood/newbies? I thought you had been doing this a while...

Binkytown said...

Oh no! That's too funny! You must pretend it NEVER HAPPENED when you look at her - that or bust out laughing! We used to live in a house where our bedroom windows were about 1.5 inches from someone's back porch and after a while you just have to tell yourself- We're married. That's what married people do!