Sunday, October 08, 2006

Ten by Ten

My hundredth post…

Advertising Slogans for my Blog (generated here)
1. Be Young, Have Fun, Drink Bub and Pie.
2. It’s Good to Talk Bub and Pie.
3. Tough on Dirt, Gentle on Bub and Pie. (yup – that’s me.)
4. Moving at the Speed of Bub and Pie.
5. You Like Bub and Pie. Bub and Pie Likes You.
6. Nothing Comes Between Me and My Bub and Pie. (Does this refer to my children? Or my blog? You decide!)
7. We Bring the Good Bub and Pie to Life.
8. The Bub and Pie Effect.
9. 151 Countries, One Bub and Pie.
10. Thank Bub and Pie It’s Friday.

Pieces of Pie
(I talk a lot about the Bub on this blog, so every so often it’s time to give the baby sister center stage.)
1. When she wants to give you a kiss, she will accept no refusals.
2. She wears poofy pink dresses and wields a mean power drill.
3. After fourteen months of good-natured, easy-going behaviour, she has realized that there are Things That She Wants, that my job is to Guess What They Are, and if I fail the Wrath of the Pie will be Unleashed. I attribute this to her discovery of the concepts of free will and personal agency.
4. On the other hand, her newly demanding, passionate temperament may be a rebounding ear infection caused by my inability to get her to swallow her full dose of amoxicillin (you can lead a baby to antibiotics but you can’t make her drink).
5. She has a 50-word vocabulary and has begun to attempt short phrases like "Go sleep" and "Seeya-later!" (an extension of the dearly beloved "Buh-bye!").
6. Her newest passion = trains.
7. After being a champion napper for the last eight months or so, she is stuck at the 1.5 nap level – if she sleeps in the morning (even for half an hour), she’s awake all afternoon, but if we keep her up in the morning, she’s miserable (this item may be related to item #3).
8. She has downy, light-brown hair on the top of her head, but all around the back it’s tightly coiled curls.
9. She can say no. (No, however, does not always mean no.)
10. Each afternoon at around five o’clock she starts up the chorus: "Da-dye! Da-dye!" (he eventually gets home at around ten after six).

Things That Make Me Go Hmmmm…
1. The writers of Einstein Never Used Flashcards recommend the following language-enhancing parental response to a three-year-old’s request for a slice of bread: "Do you remember the bread I used for your sandwich yesterday? It was pumpernickel bread. Pumpernickel is a black bread. Have you ever tried black bread before?" The children of parents who spoke this way tended to have highly advanced language skills by age 5. Despite some inner misgivings, I tried this out on the Bub: "Would you like one slice of apple, or two? These are McIntosh apples. They are organically grown!" His response? He barked out "Two!" grabbed the apples and ran out of the room before I could get as far as "–tosh." (Don’t get me wrong; it’s a good book. But to a mother of a speech-delayed child, the idea of chatting casually about pumpernickel bread is, let’s say, counter-intuitive. I think I’ll work on the concept of pumpernickel bread sometime after we’ve established the distinction between "yesterday" and "tomorrow.")
2. Another tidbit from ENUFC: children in professional families hear an average of more than 2000 words per hour. The authors do not specify whether these are words directed to the child (in which case I fall considerably behind the welfare-family average of 600 words/hour), or whether the total includes: (1) phone conversations analyzing the deteriorating relationship between Brad and Angelina, (2) arguments with the spouse over whose turn it is to clean the cat litter, or (3) muttered rantings against old men who write letters to the local newspaper complaining about public breastfeeding.
3. Legwarmers.
4. Deep-fried Snickers bars.
5. According to the label, the Pillsbury apple turnovers at my grocery store contain 0.1 grams of trans fat. But the raspberry turnovers contain 2.5 grams of fat per turnover. Who knew that raspberries contained that much fat? (Upon further investigation, the expiration dates suggest that the apple turnovers represent the new, improved product: all the saturated fat you’ve come to expect from Pillsbury, without those nasty hydrogenated oils!)
6. Socks with sandals.
7. When I picked up the kids from daycare the other day, Bub came to the door chanting, "A bat! A bat! Do not sit on a bat!" Assuming that he was reciting a modified version of Hop on Pop, I replied, "No, Pat, no! Don’t sit on that!" and thought nothing more of it. The next day when I dropped the kids off, my home-care provider showed me what she found when she went to clean up the blocks Bub had been playing with:

8. Jack, Kate, and Sawyer have all had opportunities to converse with the Others, and yet none of them has said, "What the hell is WRONG with you people?"
9. Yesterday, I slept in until 8:00 while hubby got up with the kids, and then I dragged around all day yawning and groaning. Today, I was up at 6:20 (see below), and I felt fine.
10. Scraping the bottom of the barrel here, I decided to check SiteMeter for some silly Google searches and the most recent referral on the list was a search on the terms "caught in the buff." Huh? Now, the next one on the list – "baby, chubby, round, plump" – I can better understand. But if you really want the Google hits? Just write about McCain Deep ‘n’ Delicious cake (I get an average of about two or three hits a day on that one).

Times at Which Bub has Gotten Out of Bed and Come to Our Room for a Tuck-In
1. Oct. 6, 1:30 am.
2. Oct. 6, 4:30 am.
3. Oct. 6, 5:30 am.
4. Oct. 6, 6:30 am (we identify the problem: his room is too cold).
5. Oct. 7, 4:45 am (deflating my hopes that the new flannel sheets and polar fleece blanket would solve the problem).
6. Oct. 7, 5:20 am (asking for doggy and blankie, which were buried under the new warm, cozy blanket).
7. Oct. 7, 7:00 am (hubby gets up while I remain catatonic for an additional hour).
8. Oct. 7, 11:40 pm (wailing – maybe his room is too hot?).
9. Oct. 8, 1:30 am.
10. Oct. 8, 6:20 am (cuddled up under the covers next to me, calling out the numbers at 60-second intervals: 23, 24, 25, 26 – at which point I get up and put on a pot of strong coffee).

My Favourite Posts (or, 10% of My Output So Far)
1. Bless Me Mother, For I Have Sinned (this was the post that helped dispel my new-blogger jitters, made me take a deep breath and say, "Okay, I think I can do this")
2. Finding Out
3. Diary Dearest
4. Thomas the Propaganda Engine
5. Judge Not
6. Psalm 30:5 (the Pie’s birth story – I’ve never been so happy and excited to post something, simply because it meant so much to me)
7. Pride and Joy
8. A Hogwarts Guide to Infant Care
9. These Boots Were Made for Talkin’
10. The Evolution of Friendship (one of those posts that leap from your brain, fully formed, like Athena from the head of Zeus – fun and effortless)

Photos of My Kids

then and now...

Picture Books Bub Loves
1. The Cat in the Hat
2. Hop on Pop
3. In a People House
4. Go, Dog, Go!
5. Love You Forever
6. Marvin Wanted More
7. "numbers Cheerios book"
8. Noah’s Big Boat
9. The Fat Cat
10. The Day the Babies Crawled Away

Foods Eaten at Thanksgiving Dinner
1. turkey
2. stuffing
3. mashed potatoes and gravy
4. red wine
5. raspberry/cranberry juice
6. corn pudding
7. carrots and peas
8. apple-turnip brown sugar bake
9. pumpkin pie
10. real whipped cream on top (instead of the attractively titled "yogourt cheese" my health-conscious mother usually substitutes)

…and I get to do it all again tomorrow at my in-laws’ house.

Disadvantages to Having Kids Close in Age
1. carrying around a 25-30 lb. toddler during the third trimester
2. really, everything about the third trimester
3. between 4 and 8 poopy diaper changes per day
4. muscle spasms from carrying around double-weight diaper bag
5. risk of toddler aggression toward the baby
6. fighting over shared toys
7. younger child receives assertiveness training from having to fight over every toy
8. no visiting open play areas unless adult-child ratio is at least 1:1
9. no passenger seating in the back seat of the car (except the 10-inch wide space between the two carseats)
10. conflicting nap schedules make it impossible to leave the house

Advantages to Having Kids Close in Age
1. the dual nap (long live the dual nap!)
2. the same toys are suitable for both children
3. no time to forget all the hard-won knowledge from the first time around
4. you can get the most from your investment in the double stroller
5. babies can be boring, and toddlers can be monotonous, but together they’re full of variety
6. minimal adjustment period upon arrival of second baby (since life never really got back to any semblance of ‘normal’ anyway)
7. totally compatible musical tastes (ranging from Raffi to Fred Penner)
8. not one but two voices belting out "E-I-E-I-O" in the back seat of the car
9. contagious laughter
10. watching as the children awaken one another to social awareness; watching them figure out what the word love means by loving each other


kittenpie said...

Ah, I love lists... Good ones!

nomotherearth said...

I thought the pumpernickel thing was a bit much, but I like a lot of the other suggestions.

The Boy loves Hop on Pop. He calls it "Ba-ba-ba-ba-bop".

Lady M said...

Congratulations on 100!

I read the pumpernickel bread section out loud to SwingDaddy. Too funny!

kim said...

the pictures of the kids are soo cute :)

karrie said...

Have any studies been done to examine the sanity of parents who forced themselves to speak about pumpernickel bread in that way? I feel damn self-conscious chattering on like that in public while my son just grunts and laughs at me.

ali said...

oh my gosh! congrats on your 100th post.

Suz said...

Congratulations! And moving at the speed of Bub and Pie gets my vote. I don't know exactly what speed that would be, but I think pretty darn fast.

marian said...

Great post!
-Oh, yes, you'd better believe that arguments with your husband over who does the cat litter count! No speech is more readily imitated than that overheard when mommy and daddy argue... unfortunately... right?
-That distinction between today, yesterday, and other points in time may take until about age 6 to fully develop. At least time descriptions are one of our most reliable sources of smiles from our younger ones. I'm amazed at all of the things we did "yesterday" (You know, when we were on "multiplication"-- otherwise known as vacation-- last March?). And what astounding memory such little people can have of "last year" (you know, October 7, 2006?).

Congratulations on 100 posts!

Beck said...

I loved your top 10 favorite posts. And welcome to the Multiple Thanksgiving Dinner club! Pie is just a smidge younger than Baby, who is 17 months old and has discovered the screaming, heels-hitting-the-floor tantrum recently. Lucky me.

Mrs. Chicky said...

I'd like to spend a day in your head. How the heck did you come up with all that material? I loved the lists and your kids are scumptious. Can I have a big serving of them with some real whipped cream on top? ;)

Minnehaha Mama said...

Lists are always good. Thanks for the Pie birth story link. I LOVE birth stories.

And. He spells! I think you have nothing to worry about.

bubandpie said...

MM - I'm not totally convinced it wasn't coincidence. He does have excellent visual memory, though (as I discovered several months ago when he started protesting loudly whenever I made a "wrong" turn in the car).

Mrs. Chicky - Let me tell you, the ten-by-ten concept turned out to be a bit more labour-intensive than I originally bargained for (I did a five-by-five awhile back which was much easier). I was getting really desperate when I threw in "socks with sandals."

Marian - That's a relief! I've been a bit worried because Bub doesn't seem to have any real concept of past or future time. We're working on it (telling mommy/daddy what happened today, etc.), but there's no real sign that it has clicked.

Suz - Where was that slogan generator back when I was so desperate for a tagline? (a problem I solved with the new tagline-free header) Maybe I'll add "moving at the speed of Bub and Pie" to my template so it shows up in Bloglines.

TrudyJ said...

Fabulous lists ... I love them. Deep fried Snickers bars? Do they really exist? I wonder how many grams of trans fats THEY have??

Veronica Mitchell said...

I tried the slogan generator with my blog name. My favorite was "Keep that Toddled Dredge complexion." Sounds attractive, huh?

Congrats on the hundred posts.

Oh, The Joys said...

I'm not sure, but I think we're in a similar boat... Owen is 2 (and four months), and Ruby is 13 months.

She is demonstrating her own version of "The wrath of Pie." She also says no, but jabs her finger in your face whilst doing it.

I am SO FILLED with the joys of it all today. Close in age, schmlose in age. The plan looked WAY better on paper!

Pieces said...

Great lists! I love the things that you wrote about Pie--she sounds like such a sweetie. You know it's coming...a sweetie PIE!

Okay, I've made myself queesy now. I remember the days of the 1.5 naps. Each day is new adventure in crabbiness. It'll be over soon, I promise!

Mocha said...

I wear poofy pink dresses, too. And have never been known to refuse a deep fried Snickers.

First time I saw one was on "Nigella Bites" and the gal describing it hit the nail on the head: "Eating one of those is like my birthday, Christmas, and Easter all on one day."

Jennifer said...

What fun lists! I'm wondering if Einstein ever thought his parents were nuts? Because my kids would me, if I started chattering on and on and on in that way. Give me the bread, please, and let's get on with things, would be their response. ;)

Happy 100th!

Anonymous said...


and yeah..why haven't Jack and crew just asked the Island folks 'why'??

And being that my kids look at my like I am talking out my butt 90% of the time....I can only imagine what they would think about a discourse on pumpernickel bread.

metro mama said...

Happy 100!

Kristen said...

Congrats on your 100th post! Ah, I remember the painful days of the younger child waffling on the two naps per day. Ouch. You know, I think I'm still stinging from that one, actually.

Anonymous said...

Great post! And Happy 100. Now I will go through your favourite posts.

Oh - and #9 of 10 things that make you go hmmm. That happened to me this weekend too, only with the days switched around.

Mouse said...

Congrats on 100 posts!

I think I have another month to go.

I've had a few experiences with my son similar to the blocks. I took a picture the time he spelled out a word with his Boggle set. I don't think it was a complete coincidence, but he hasn't done it again.

penelopeto said...

Happy 100! You don't look a day over 99.

Mary-LUE said...

I don't even know how many posts I've written. I'll need to check on that.

Your 10 x 10 list is great! I love the Pie list. It brought me back to my children's toddlerhoods which seem so, so, so long ago.

I'm also looking forward to going over your top ten post list later this week when I have a little more time.

You are definitely in my top ten bloggers list!

nonlineargirl said...

Ok, I was forced (FORCED, I say) to do that sloganizer thing.

Chris likes: Come Fly The Friendly Nonlinear Girl.

I like: No Nonlinear Girl, No Comment.
(maybe this is the bloggy counterpart to I blog, therefore I am?)

Mommy off the Record said...

Wow-wee!! Awesome list-making, woman! Congrats on your 100th post. That's a major milestone! (and I'm happy to say I've been with you since practically the beginning.)

Here's to 100 more!

Girl con Queso said...

Congratulations on 100!

sunshine scribe said...

Happy 100th!

These lists are spectacular my friend :)

lildb said...

your brilliance makes me blink.

*blink, blink*

p.s. congratulations on this, your 100th, post!

Antique Mommy said...

Oooh, I love a variety pack!

I put in Antique Mommy in the slogan maker and it returned something obscene.

A great 100th post - lots of laughs. Wishing you a 100 more.