My hundredth post…
Advertising Slogans for my Blog (generated here)
1. Be Young, Have Fun, Drink Bub and Pie.
2. It’s Good to Talk Bub and Pie.
3. Tough on Dirt, Gentle on Bub and Pie. (yup – that’s me.)
4. Moving at the Speed of Bub and Pie.
5. You Like Bub and Pie. Bub and Pie Likes You.
6. Nothing Comes Between Me and My Bub and Pie. (Does this refer to my children? Or my blog? You decide!)
7. We Bring the Good Bub and Pie to Life.
8. The Bub and Pie Effect.
9. 151 Countries, One Bub and Pie.
10. Thank Bub and Pie It’s Friday.
Pieces of Pie
(I talk a lot about the Bub on this blog, so every so often it’s time to give the baby sister center stage.)
1. When she wants to give you a kiss, she will accept no refusals.
2. She wears poofy pink dresses and wields a mean power drill.
3. After fourteen months of good-natured, easy-going behaviour, she has realized that there are Things That She Wants, that my job is to Guess What They Are, and if I fail the Wrath of the Pie will be Unleashed. I attribute this to her discovery of the concepts of free will and personal agency.
4. On the other hand, her newly demanding, passionate temperament may be a rebounding ear infection caused by my inability to get her to swallow her full dose of amoxicillin (you can lead a baby to antibiotics but you can’t make her drink).
5. She has a 50-word vocabulary and has begun to attempt short phrases like "Go sleep" and "Seeya-later!" (an extension of the dearly beloved "Buh-bye!").
6. Her newest passion = trains.
7. After being a champion napper for the last eight months or so, she is stuck at the 1.5 nap level – if she sleeps in the morning (even for half an hour), she’s awake all afternoon, but if we keep her up in the morning, she’s miserable (this item may be related to item #3).
8. She has downy, light-brown hair on the top of her head, but all around the back it’s tightly coiled curls.
9. She can say no. (No, however, does not always mean no.)
10. Each afternoon at around five o’clock she starts up the chorus: "Da-dye! Da-dye!" (he eventually gets home at around ten after six).
Things That Make Me Go Hmmmm…
1. The writers of Einstein Never Used Flashcards recommend the following language-enhancing parental response to a three-year-old’s request for a slice of bread: "Do you remember the bread I used for your sandwich yesterday? It was pumpernickel bread. Pumpernickel is a black bread. Have you ever tried black bread before?" The children of parents who spoke this way tended to have highly advanced language skills by age 5. Despite some inner misgivings, I tried this out on the Bub: "Would you like one slice of apple, or two? These are McIntosh apples. They are organically grown!" His response? He barked out "Two!" grabbed the apples and ran out of the room before I could get as far as "–tosh." (Don’t get me wrong; it’s a good book. But to a mother of a speech-delayed child, the idea of chatting casually about pumpernickel bread is, let’s say, counter-intuitive. I think I’ll work on the concept of pumpernickel bread sometime after we’ve established the distinction between "yesterday" and "tomorrow.")
2. Another tidbit from ENUFC: children in professional families hear an average of more than 2000 words per hour. The authors do not specify whether these are words directed to the child (in which case I fall considerably behind the welfare-family average of 600 words/hour), or whether the total includes: (1) phone conversations analyzing the deteriorating relationship between Brad and Angelina, (2) arguments with the spouse over whose turn it is to clean the cat litter, or (3) muttered rantings against old men who write letters to the local newspaper complaining about public breastfeeding.
4. Deep-fried Snickers bars.
5. According to the label, the Pillsbury apple turnovers at my grocery store contain 0.1 grams of trans fat. But the raspberry turnovers contain 2.5 grams of fat per turnover. Who knew that raspberries contained that much fat? (Upon further investigation, the expiration dates suggest that the apple turnovers represent the new, improved product: all the saturated fat you’ve come to expect from Pillsbury, without those nasty hydrogenated oils!)
6. Socks with sandals.
7. When I picked up the kids from daycare the other day, Bub came to the door chanting, "A bat! A bat! Do not sit on a bat!" Assuming that he was reciting a modified version of Hop on Pop, I replied, "No, Pat, no! Don’t sit on that!" and thought nothing more of it. The next day when I dropped the kids off, my home-care provider showed me what she found when she went to clean up the blocks Bub had been playing with:
8. Jack, Kate, and Sawyer have all had opportunities to converse with the Others, and yet none of them has said, "What the hell is WRONG with you people?"
9. Yesterday, I slept in until 8:00 while hubby got up with the kids, and then I dragged around all day yawning and groaning. Today, I was up at 6:20 (see below), and I felt fine.
10. Scraping the bottom of the barrel here, I decided to check SiteMeter for some silly Google searches and the most recent referral on the list was a search on the terms "caught in the buff." Huh? Now, the next one on the list – "baby, chubby, round, plump" – I can better understand. But if you really want the Google hits? Just write about McCain Deep ‘n’ Delicious cake (I get an average of about two or three hits a day on that one).
Times at Which Bub has Gotten Out of Bed and Come to Our Room for a Tuck-In
1. Oct. 6, 1:30 am.
2. Oct. 6, 4:30 am.
3. Oct. 6, 5:30 am.
4. Oct. 6, 6:30 am (we identify the problem: his room is too cold).
5. Oct. 7, 4:45 am (deflating my hopes that the new flannel sheets and polar fleece blanket would solve the problem).
6. Oct. 7, 5:20 am (asking for doggy and blankie, which were buried under the new warm, cozy blanket).
7. Oct. 7, 7:00 am (hubby gets up while I remain catatonic for an additional hour).
8. Oct. 7, 11:40 pm (wailing – maybe his room is too hot?).
9. Oct. 8, 1:30 am.
10. Oct. 8, 6:20 am (cuddled up under the covers next to me, calling out the numbers at 60-second intervals: 23, 24, 25, 26 – at which point I get up and put on a pot of strong coffee).
My Favourite Posts (or, 10% of My Output So Far)
1. Bless Me Mother, For I Have Sinned (this was the post that helped dispel my new-blogger jitters, made me take a deep breath and say, "Okay, I think I can do this")
2. Finding Out
3. Diary Dearest
4. Thomas the Propaganda Engine
5. Judge Not
6. Psalm 30:5 (the Pie’s birth story – I’ve never been so happy and excited to post something, simply because it meant so much to me)
7. Pride and Joy
8. A Hogwarts Guide to Infant Care
9. These Boots Were Made for Talkin’
10. The Evolution of Friendship (one of those posts that leap from your brain, fully formed, like Athena from the head of Zeus – fun and effortless)
Photos of My Kids
then and now...
Picture Books Bub Loves
1. The Cat in the Hat
2. Hop on Pop
3. In a People House
4. Go, Dog, Go!
5. Love You Forever
6. Marvin Wanted More
7. "numbers Cheerios book"
8. Noah’s Big Boat
9. The Fat Cat
10. The Day the Babies Crawled Away
Foods Eaten at Thanksgiving Dinner
3. mashed potatoes and gravy
4. red wine
5. raspberry/cranberry juice
6. corn pudding
7. carrots and peas
8. apple-turnip brown sugar bake
9. pumpkin pie
10. real whipped cream on top (instead of the attractively titled "yogourt cheese" my health-conscious mother usually substitutes)
…and I get to do it all again tomorrow at my in-laws’ house.
Disadvantages to Having Kids Close in Age
1. carrying around a 25-30 lb. toddler during the third trimester
2. really, everything about the third trimester
3. between 4 and 8 poopy diaper changes per day
4. muscle spasms from carrying around double-weight diaper bag
5. risk of toddler aggression toward the baby
6. fighting over shared toys
7. younger child receives assertiveness training from having to fight over every toy
8. no visiting open play areas unless adult-child ratio is at least 1:1
9. no passenger seating in the back seat of the car (except the 10-inch wide space between the two carseats)
10. conflicting nap schedules make it impossible to leave the house
Advantages to Having Kids Close in Age
1. the dual nap (long live the dual nap!)
2. the same toys are suitable for both children
3. no time to forget all the hard-won knowledge from the first time around
4. you can get the most from your investment in the double stroller
5. babies can be boring, and toddlers can be monotonous, but together they’re full of variety
6. minimal adjustment period upon arrival of second baby (since life never really got back to any semblance of ‘normal’ anyway)
7. totally compatible musical tastes (ranging from Raffi to Fred Penner)
8. not one but two voices belting out "E-I-E-I-O" in the back seat of the car
9. contagious laughter
10. watching as the children awaken one another to social awareness; watching them figure out what the word love means by loving each other
Sunday, October 08, 2006
My hundredth post…