Thursday, January 11, 2007

Please Disable Your Cloaking Devices

Since it’s all about the meta-blogging for me this week, I thought I’d jump on the National De-Lurking Week bandwagon (even though, as Dani has pointed out, "national" is a bit of a misnomer: apparently it’s not just us Canadians participating).

This isn’t the first time I’ve seen people pleading for their lurkers to emerge from the shadows. Every day, we bloggers click on SiteMeter only to see the same mixed bag of locations and referrals. Who is that person from Sheffield, England who keeps visiting? (Is that you Idle Person?) What about that regular reader from Milner Ridge, Manitoba? So we send our pleas out into the ether and then sit back and listen to the deafening silence. The fact is, lurking is one of the inalienable rights conferred by the Internet. We all do it: I’ve lurked at some autism blogs, some daddy blogs, and most of the big-time mommy-blogs, and for one reason or another I’ve never poked my head up to say hello.

But De-Lurking Week appears to be different. I’ve been checking, and it seems that people are actually responding! Perhaps it’s the mixture of peer pressure (the national/international moniker) and out-and-out threats:

In any case, I thought I’d try to sweeten the deal a little bit and tempt some lurkers forward with some attention-grabbing questions. People love to talk about themselves, right? (Or is that just bloggers?) The trick is to settle upon the right questions – not too nosy (What are the names of your children?), not too self-obsessed (What’s your favourite thing about me?), and not just plain inappropriate (Which of my children do you think is cuter?). So here are my questions – answer one, or all, or none, as you feel inclined, but do say hello – I’d love to hear from you!

1) Which is better – The Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter?
2) Who would you be more likely to be attracted to: the bad boy (think Hugh Grant as Daniel Cleaver) or the nice guy (think Colin Firth in a reindeer sweater)?
3) If you’re a mom, how do you tend to greet your children’s milestones: with a nostalgic "What happened to my baby?" or an exultant "Yeah! Bring it on!"
4) What are the biggest "don'ts" when it comes to helping a first-time mom?
5) What, if anything, would you like to ask me? (I have no boundaries; I’ll almost certainly answer.)

And hey, regular commenters – you can play too.


DaniGirl said...

You're so dang clever, you know? I so admire you!

Ahem, on with the questions.

(1) I'm going to have to go with Harry Potter, simply because I tried to read LOTR and couldn't get past the nine pages of Hobbit anscetry in the first book but have savoured each word of the HP books more than once.

(2) Bad boy. No question.

(3) I'm definitely nostalgic and change-averse. The new stage is always good, in retrospect, but I dread the coming of each one with predictable regularity.

(4) Don't be judgemental. Just because it worked for you (or didn't) doesn't mean it will (or won't) work for her. Also, experience does not equal superiority - be open to learning from HER experience.

(5) Ooo, hard ending. Um - has blogging changed how you see yourself as a mother and if so, how?

cinnamon gurl said...

Ooh, you ARE so clever... may have to steal some of your ideas for tomorrow's post...

LOTR fer sher!

Bad boy.

Somewhere in between... glad that he's kind of keeping up with what's expected, sad that things are changing.

Dani's answer on number 4 rocks!

Mind's a blank...

Go lurkers!!!

Suzanne said...

Hmm. Great idea! I'll answer two questions.

2. I think I'd take Colin Firth as a bad boy.

3. I celebrate milestones as they occur and then get all sad and nostalgic about a year later for that particular one.

Marla said...

Oh, I lurk a lot. But, I cannot resist questions!

1) I don't know who the Lord is, but Harry Potter, especially lately, gives me this kind of tingly feeling that is part really good, part old and pervy. So, Team Harry.

2)Both. And I mean that exactly as it sounds, and you can take it either way. Either just plain both, or as in one guy who is a happy yet tortured combination of the two. (drifts off, thinking of both...)

3)It's more like "Woah...did that just happen?" and " know what she hasn't done in a while? I kind of miss/don't miss that!" and then I go find something to dip in Nutella.

4)Preface everything with "And I know this, because I have my degree from Oprah University..."

5)What is is that makes your writing so "writerly"? Is it your education? Your thought process? Your work experience? How is it that every post is a gem - a fully thought out, properly punctuated, complete sentency, full circle idea with a beginning, middle and ending and no made-up words or stupid cat pictures -- and really, it feels like EVERY post is that good. So?

Jennifer said...

I'll play!

1) Harry Potter!

2) The bad boy, definitely. Especially if reindeer sweaters adorned the good guy. ;)

3) Pride AND "What happened to my baby?" *sniff, sniff*.

4) Definitely ditch the judgment and any "know it all" attitude.

5) If you *had to* move to another country, where would you go?

NotSoSage said...

Well, I'm not a lurker, but I'm such a contrary personality that this whole De-lurking Week thingamajig just makes me want to go ahead and lurk.

Since the questions are for lurkers, I will only answer #2, but only because I can't help myself. Colin Firth. rrrRRROOWWW!

metro mama said...

Good idea, I may have to steal it.

Here are my answers:

1)Harry Potter
2)Bad boy!
3)Bring it on
4)Don't offer unsolicited advice
5)What is the best book you've read recently?

Francesca said...

OK, I'm an ex-academic, ex-pat Canadian, pre-Mamma lurker.

1) Harry Potter, because I find the poetry in LOTR brain-numbingly horrific.

2) I met my partner during my bad-boy phase, but he's since become the nice guy type, and I still fancy him like mad. Which is handy.

4) As a first time kitten owner, (my closest experience for comparison), I was buried under a heap of unwanted, cranky, and contradictory advice. So I'd guess, save the advice until you're asked for it? And don't get cross if it isn't followed!

5) When you were five, if you were given the chance to pick the family holiday to any place you liked, where would you have picked?

Jenifer said...

1.) I just love Harry Potter.... who doesn't

2.) The bad boy.

3.) I am a mixture here. I think with my first I was like Yeah! Bring it on! and now with my second i am a bit more nostalgic because I realize how fast it goes by.

4.) DON'T tell horror stories, or say "Phew! I'm glad that stage is over."

5.) Will you have more children?

Veronica Mitchell said...

1. LOTR. Potter's nice, but if it weren't structured for suspense, I wouldn't bother.

2. Nice guys every time. The last time I liked a bad boy I was fifteen and it took all of two weeks before I realized, "Oh! You are not a deep, tormented soul whose pain could be healed by the power of my love. You are just a jerk."

3. Yippee!

4. Don't assume her kid is just like yours.

5. Hmm. Any question? I am torn between how much do you weigh and what is the last thing you bought without telling your husband. I'm a stinker that way.

Aliki2006 said...

Oh I will certainly play...

1) Lord of the Rings
2) The bad boy (sigh)
3) A mixture of the two, depending on the milestone, of course. I'm usually quick to exclaim "bring it on!" and then regret and nostalgia set in.
4) Trying to look like you know more than she does...
5) Jenifer with one "n" got her #5 out before me

bloggedissue said...

1Definitely LOTR, though I do like Harry Potter too.

2No idea... probably nice guy.

3 A bit of both, depends on the milestone.

4 Don't try to do everything everyone suggests. Advice is to conflicting to be able to do that.

5 ?

mom-nos said...

I don't know if I count as a lurker. I've commented a couple of times, but I read every day.

1) Harry Potter. I don't get LOTR.
2) For a short time when I was 19, Hugh Grant. Since then, Colin Firth, every single time.
3) With exultations, tap dances, and lengthy blog posts.
4) Don't assume you've been there, because she is probably in an entirely different place, and Don't forget that the easy answers are usually the least helpful ones.
5) Why have you been reading all my books? And also: Do you want to go get a cup of coffee with me someday?

Momish said...

I have been seeing this de-lurker week around and love your idea! And, since I am completely unoriginal, I will have to steal it as well (stealing the idea to steal it from the stealers - could it get any worse?).

Harry over the Rings thingy, for sure. And Colin for sure. And bittersweet greetings to milestones. My question to you is more of a request - let us know how many de-lurkers your lured out with your cleverness!

I too lurk at some other blogs, so I better come out myself, it's only fair!

Gwen said...

Hmm, ok I have commented before but it has been a while.
1: Harry Potter, and I can't wait for the next one. At least this time I won't be reading it while breastfeeding. I liked the LOTR but it took me a long time to want to read it.
2. I would hope the good boy, but I am not sure.
3.Sometimes it is the first and sometimes the second. I really think it depends on the hormones at the time.
4.Don't offer advice until you are asked and then make sure that you don't push your view.
5.Wow, I didn't have to think this much for the rest of my delurking. :) Are there times when you feel that blogging is a bit of a chore and how do you get over that hump if you do?
Oh and my new non blogger site is

Natalie said...

Montreal internet introvert delurking.

1. I have equal quantities of love and hate for LOTR and Harry Potter. Harry Potter was tediously quick (and then and then and then . . . gasp!) and LOTR tediously slow (let's describe the terrain again!). But I'm glad to have them both swimming around my consciousness.

2. Nice guy Colin Firth without a doubt - but much prefer dripping wet w/tousled hair and a whip to reindeer sweater.

3. No babies here. I'm excited to see my nieces and nephews grow and change but suspect I'd be a bit more nostalgic with my own.

4. All I know about this I learned from you.

5. I've been picturing you living in Mount Bridges. Have I guessed right?

P.S. I started reading your blog because you seemed like my parallel universe alter-ego. I come back every day because I love your writing.

Beck said...

I don't lurk unless we're talking about the really Big Name Mommy Blogs, in which case I am a scared rabbit.
Here are the answers to the questions:
1. Lord of the Rings. The Harry Potter movies don't do the books justice.
2. Colin Firth. I only like good guys. It is part of being me.
3. Sobbing hysterically.
4. Do not take the baby away from a really post-partumy mother unless she asks you to.
5. A question? For you?

Beck said...

Okay, I've thought of a good question:
Smarties or M&Ms?

Oh, The Joys said...

Colin Firth.

Becky said...

Ah, lurkers... I was one once and still lurk almost everyday, but I try to comment as often as I feel the need to.

Soooo... to fulfill my daily needs:

1) Love both HP & LOTR movies! LOTR is more my idea of fantasy (especially Aragorn... YUM!), but HP is good for a more light-hearted getting away from it all. Love the HP books... haven't really got much into the LOTR books. Maybe someday.

2) I'm married to a good boy and would probably still marry a good boy if I had to do it all over again. But bad boy fantasies are fun! (I think I'm starting to see some sort of theme here...)

3) I tend to take my children's milestones in both the nostalgic & excitement for moving forward sort of ways. I love to watch my children grow, learn and develop. But I also feel a bittersweet nostalgia at my children growing up and losing my babies, since I know that I won't be having any more (don't really want any more, but there is still a little bit of sadness...).

4) I think the biggest don'ts for helping first-time Moms is not to push all your own parenting advice on them. Remember how annoyed you felt when established mothers would tell you that what you were doing was wrong and that you should do it their way instead. And NO HORROR STORIES for first-time pregnant Moms. Why do women feel the need to share their own birthing horror stories with first-time pregnant women? That's just wrong! I had several that did that to me when I was pregnant with my Princess and I thought it was horrible. These women would corner me in the staff lounge at work and force their birthing horror stories on me! MEAN! I like to tell newly expecting Moms that it's not half as bad as all other women like to make them think... yeah, it hurts, but it's also a time of your life you will cherish forever and never forget.

5) Hmmmmm... How do you manage to come up with a topic to blog about nearly every single day? And they are topics for thinking about, not just fluff.

Mayberry said...

I'm like a semi-lurker, but I'll play too...

1) Harry.
2) Good, dorky, cute one,
3) Waaaaa--my BABY!
4) Don't assume that her baby (or her body, or her boobs or whatever) will respond the same way yours did.
5) Surprise me!

Jill said...

1. Don't like either. Fantasy is not my bag.
2. Nice guy.
3.Bring it on!
4. Don't push breast feeding and don't pass judgment on the length of her leave or her decison to stay home or work.
5. I want to know Bub's name. You revealed Pie's, so now I'm curious about Bub. He seems like an Ethan to me. Also, which is your favorite Jane Austen and why.

bubandpie said...

Oooh, questions!

This is so much fun.

Dani - I've been thinking a lot about this one. The main difference I see in myself since I started blogging is that I'm able to be "in the moment" with my kids more - as in, like, 3% of the time instead of 0.5%. And I think blogging helps with that - looking to my kids for blog fodder is actually a GOOD thing!

Marla - That's an awfully nice question, Marla. It's funny, too, because I was just reflecting today that maybe I should try to inject a more spontaneous note into my writing - jump around from topic to topic in the random, inspired way that people like lildb and Cinnamon Gurl can do, following little threads of connection. My mind doesn't really work that way, though. Penelopeto analyzed it for me awhile ago and said that my academic training has made it second nature for me to do that "beginning-middle-end" circular structure thing. The fun part about blogging for me, as compared to academic writing, is that I usually don't know ahead of time what my "conclusion" is going to be, or which image or word from the beginning of the post is going to find its way into the ending.

Jennifer - I would love to have a good excuse to move to England. The only drawback is that I would have to live in reality instead of in a book. So maybe Scotland. Yeah - return to the land of my ancestors.

Metro Mama - George and Sam, by Charlotte Moore.

Francesca - Yay! Yay! A bona fide lurker! As for your question, I know that when I was seven, I was astonished to learn from my new (and current) BFF that there was a whole world of tourism out there - up until that point, the only family vacations I knew about were to the beach and to the cottage. I would have picked our cottage in Muskoka over the beach because I loved it there, and the beach was kind of scary.

Jenifer - I don't think I'll have more children; I feel really, really done.

Veronica - Ouch! Ouch! Okay, you took me at my word, so I'll 'fess up. The last time I weighed myself I was 148, so I've been scared to step on the scale since for fear of cracking the sesqui-centipound level. I can't think of any purchase I've actually hidden from my husband (even his Christmas gifts are not at all well-hidden); it helps that what bread we have is still won primarily by me.

Mom-NOS - Yes, yes, yes I would LOVE to go for coffee with you! (I just finished your archive the other day - I had to do something after all the NaBloPoMo riches came to an end.) Some of the bookshelf similarities are coincidence, and others have to do with how I immediately tell my husband to buy me every book you recommend (Send in the Idiots is on my birthday list).

Gwen - I do get bloggers' block fairly regularly, and what I usually do is to pick something from my "no, that's a crappy idea" list (the one in my head - I don't actually keep a written version) and start writing. And usually I end up liking what I've written and posting it. Today's post being a case in point.

Natalie - I'm from Lambeth, hubby's from St. Thomas, and we're living in London but probably moving to St. Mary's in a year or two. So no Mt. Brydges connection, but lots of small-town Southwestern Ontario roots. You've got me so curious now, though, about my alter-ego. Do you think you could start a blog? Just for me?

Beck - Not very patriotic, I know, but it's M&M's all the way. (Chocolate, not peanut. And in the extra-large Shrek size if possible.) Yummy.

bubandpie said...

Oh look! Four new comments while I was writing the above giant comment! (Can you tell how fun this is for me?)

Becky - I've been asking myself this question lately, too, because I'm getting stuck for topics more and more often. If I'm stuck I just read more blogs until I'm inspired to steal someone else's idea. And I find that the act of writing often unsticks me - after writing today's post I remembered a whole other post idea that's now sitting on the back burner.

Jill - I said no boundaries, didn't I? Okay, I named Bub after a very handsome reindeer-sweater-clad actor. My really favourite Jane Austen is P&P, because of Mr. Darcy, but if I want to present myself as a more original and interesting person, I would say Persuasion, because I always love a novel with a good back story.

crazymumma said...

#4. Don't judge the breasfeeding bottlefeeding debate. All is good. Feed the baby. End of story.

(um, and I will take BOTH hugh and Colin. Thank you very much indeedy.)

nomotherearth said...

Okay, okay, I'm not a lurker, but I used to be one...I wasn't going to answer the questions because you probably hear from me too much, but I have a question to ask you, so here goes:

1)Harry Potter, no question.
2)Nice guys, esp Mr Firth.
3)Bring it on.
4)Don't offer unsolicited advice.
5)If you named your son after a reindeer-sweater-clad person, and I named mine after a character in The Secret it possible our sons have the same name??

bubandpie said...

Nomo - No WAY! I knew we were kindred spirits ever since I saw Robin Hobb on your profile. (Although I must say, the character from The Secret Garden was almost enough to change my mind about the name. Yeah, it's inspiring when he learns to walk, but all that pontificating about Magic just gets obnoxious after awhile.)

Pieces said...

Very clever. I'm not going to answer any of your questions because 1)you already hear enough from me and 2)I'm rebellious like that. And I won't ask you any questions because you've been such a great sport answering the ones already posted.

Mad Hatter said...

Can't answer 'em all b/c it is late here and I am ready to drop down dead.

Colin Firth
How can you possibly weigh the same as me and look FABULOUS? Trust me people, I have met this woman and she looks great.

Lady M said...

#1 Harry Potter is terrific, but The Lord of the Rings is my first love.

#3 How about Colin Firth in a cravat and coat?

Jennifer (ponderosa) said...

Scrawny Englishmen, yuck. Can I have Jude Law's character in Cold Mountain? Every time I watch that movie it's like somebody jumped up and down on my heart.

There aren't any "don't"s when it comes to helping first time moms. You just ask, "How can I help?" and then do what she tells you to do.

I was going to ask what Marla asked, which you answered, so I have to come up with something else... If you had to change careers, what new career would you choose?

Lady M said...

By the way, pretty cool title!

c4cara said...

Ok, I'll take the bait. I have lurked, but will now comment (all these people make me nervous... sorry...*grin*.)
Love your posts, but read them late at night and am usually to tired to respond intelligently or at all. Also am still slightly in 'what happened to my Brain back there?!' mode - so feel a bit worried about sounding NOT clever.

1. I like them both. Completely different and wonderful. Harry Potter is an 'easier read' and so more accessible(spelling? I'm afraid I spell erractically), and is to be credited with starting my dyslexic husband READING after a lifetime of fear and avoidance, but then, he went on and read LOTR and loved that too.. I admire Tolkeins passion - his mania. The detail he created in his work is amazing.
2. Colin Frith as he is yum, but I am a bit worried about the 'good boy' thing, as I've always liked to think of myself as being more 'wild' than that. Oh well...
3. Both again. I am really excited when they learn and grow, and later, when I'm alone, I sigh and look at baby photos.
4.Don't talk alot. Listen. Make yourself 'useful' in small ways - dishes and cooking meals. Don't get into 'delicious disaster stories'... They are too freaky for a hormonal woman (I mean those horror birth stories you heard or how much more sleep deprived such and such is...).
5. What was your biggest Joy of the last week?

bubandpie said...

Mad - Here's my secret: cleverly chosen clothing and totally out-of-proportion body. ALL the extra pounds are attached from the waist down, so if I can just manage to draw the eye upward, I look almost the same as I did twenty pounds ago.

Jennifer - Developmental psychologist. (Unfortunately, that's the kind of career that would require at least six years of additional education, and probably more like ten. Otherwise I might even do it.)

C4Cara - I hear you on the late-night reading - I do a lot more commenting when I can read in the morning. As for my biggest joy, I feel like I ought to choose something child-related, but to be honest I've been really elated this week by a new exercise I tried out in my English class. It worked really well - it was fun AND educational (and so often things are either one or the other).

Anonymous said...

like i'd need an excuse to comment! but since you gave me one...

1) shamefully, i have not yet read harry potter. i am saving them for bedtimes with bee when she's a bit older.

2) darcy tucker, come on down.

3) it's stupid how excited i get about the milestones - does giving me the spoons to put away when we're emptying the dishwasher count as a milestone? because i certainly gushed over that one.

4) don't push my choices as right for everyone.

5) how do you deal with a student that you think is truly dumb?


Sally said...

Ok, I'll take the bait and de-lurk if only to underscore and exclamate (is that a word? i don't think so, but it should be) just how incredibly delicious colin firth's mr. darcy is...

Angela said...

Hi, delurking to answer your great questions.

1. Harry Potter-loved the book, and couldn't get past the first few chapters of LOTR. But, if we're talking movies, definitely LOTR, have you seen Viggo and Orlando?
2. Colin Firth
3. With my first, definitely 'bring it on', but with my second, definitely more nostalgic, especially since he's our last.
4. My motto is "never say never".
5. I'm wondering if I should start my own blog, what is the best thing and what's the worst thing about blogging?

mom-nos said...

I've been really elated this week by a new exercise I tried out in my English class. It worked really well - it was fun AND educational (and so often things are either one or the other).

bubandpie, it's really not polite to toss something like this out into the blogopshere without following up with a detailed description so that others can stea- uh, er - be inspired be it.

mom-nos said...

by it, that is.

nomotherearth said...

Yeah, I had some issues with the actual SG character too (um, can you say WHINY??). However, I thought the name stood up on it's own (no pun intended). You have great taste in names!

Kyla said...

1. Harry takes me away to better (and often worse) place.

2. Bad boy...who likes a guy in the reindeer sweater? But of course, I prefer my bad boy to morph into a good one without the sweater. :)

3. I'm gonna go with "Yeah! Bring it on!" because they are highly anticipated. We are throwing a walking party if/when she ever does it. :)

4. Following everything they say with "Well, I did it this way..." or the ever popular cliches like "It will be over so soon!" that negates the misery of the eat/poop/NO sleep cycle they are experiencing.

5. Hmmmm, seeing as I call my children similar NN's, how did you start referring to the kiddos as Bub and Pie?

bubandpie said...

Karen - Once or twice I've advised someone to drop the course, but those were ESL students whose English language skills were simply nowhere near adequate. The really dumb ones I deal with almost not at all - because they're the blank ones; they sit there in class with expressionless faces, never come for extra help, turn in execrable work well past the deadline, and then forget to turn up for the exam. I'd like to say that I really put myself out to reach and help those ones, but I don't. On the other hand, I remember spending HOURS with one student with a case of over-the-top ADHD - he would stay after class EVERY day, talking and talking and getting me to explain every concept three times. He was totally incapable of behaving in class (i.e. refraining from making editorial comments during tests, like "Ooh, #3 is a trick question!"), but he was very sweet.

Angela - If you're wondering, I'd say go for it. (If you know it's something you wouldn't enjoy, that's different, but if you're considering it, chances are you'd love it.) The best thing about it is that it's YOUR blog, so you make all the rules. The worst thing is that you can get caught up in the popularity-contest angle and start feeling bad - but I think that angle is controllable if you recognize that everybody feels unpopular sometimes (even the people who seem to be such "big-time" bloggers).

Mom-NOS: I was looking for a way to introduce narrative technique, so I got the students to write a VERY short story (like, 3 sentences) with the following plot-line: Jack and Jill go up the hill; on their way down, Jill trips/pushes Jack and he falls and breaks his crown. The students could decide whether or not Jack survived, to what degree Jill should be considered culpable in the incident, and, most importantly, who should tell the story: Jack, Jill, or a third-person narrator. Then we talked about which form of narration we would choose in order to create sympathy for Jill (the best answer turned out to be Jack, which surprised a lot of people). It served as a good review of all the fiction we covered last term and a good intro into the novel we're studying right now.

Idle Person said...

Hey, thanks for the specific mention (I think) However since my last (and unfortunate) foray into the commenting arena, I have pretty much preferred the occasional read of your blog - once time permits...

Okay got to run - kids calling. Hae only skimmed your entry -will read it carefully later and post a comment.

Kristen said...

I just wanted to answer the question about reacting to milestones. I thought I would be a "where is my baby" type, because I'm generally more melancholy and pessimistic (we've had conversations about this), but actually, I find that the milestones are so exciting and amazing to me that I'm more of "bring it on!" type. And I'm glad about that.

Your willingness to answer all these question is very admirable. You are brave! :-)

Natalie said...

I'm too much of an internet introvert to start a blog just yet (on my best friend's blog, my picture is from the back). I think I've been scarred by ratemyprofessor which, like you said, is a killer, even when your comments are 90% positive.

So, to assuage your curiosity a wee bit, I lived in London, Ontario for a few years and did an M.A. in English at Western. I'm now doing a PhD in Victorian literature. And I've got a little thing for Mr. Darcy (though my husband insists we're not at all interested in his integrity but are all attracted to the primal male violence/sexual energy that is so tightly bound up but still suggested by said whip. ahem. I digress).

But I don't live near my extended family. I don't have or want children. And I don't have a very strong faith (desire for it is not quite the same thing). So when I stumbled across your blog, you seemed like a kind of light double, my good twin. I don't really think of you in constant reference to myself anymore, but it was an amusing first hook.

And I meant to write that I imagined you moving to Mount Brydges, but Saint Mary's is a lovely little town.

Sorry for going on and on. That's what happens when you engage an introvert.

Tina C. said...

i'm still reading regularly but not commenting as often cause work got busy!!

1. lord of the rings (the movie; didn't read the book) (also viggo and orlando force me to prefer the movie.)

2. bad boys usually, but not hugh grant. anything ewan, please.

3. combo of both, plus compulsion to record in the baby book but shame because i've noticed it too long after it first happened to remember the date to record.

4. please visit me to break the monotony. but don't stand on ceremony -- i.e., don't expect me to serve you all hostess-like. get your own beverage. better yet, bring one and some food to share as well!

5. are people who blog exhibitionists/boasters or people with low self-esteem seeking approval from strangers?

Jenifer G. said...

I guess not having Sitemeter set up saves you from certain madness...
Just kidding, I do keep meaning to do it.

I will play too.

1. Honestly I don't like either. I just not a science/fantasy kind of girl. I did read LOTR (and was forced to see the movie) and while I can appreciate the quality of the book I did not enjoy it.

2. I could never pick between the two. I have mentioned my Hugh Grant thing before and Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy, just too delectable.

3. I guess the unoriginal answer of both. I am usually more inclined to be "my baby" but, a part of me says bring it on. Spending time with Papoosie Girl as a companion for lunch and shopping say has nudged me a little more to "bring it on". Just a bit mind you.

4.I agree with just about everyone else in the "this works best" advice. Just ask what you can do to help. Or, take the little monkey and shove them out the door for awhile. Let them get a coffee and take a few deep breaths.

5. Hard one. You have answered some of my questions already. How about I think of you as a "big-time" Mommy blog, so who do think is one? I'm just curious and if you don't want to name names don't worry.

Have a good weekend!

kittenpie said...

You know, I think of the HP vs. LOTR thing as a stages rather than an and/or thing. HO at about 10-12, LOTR at about 14-18. something like that.

s@bd said...

oh, hi.

2) the bad boy ... but Hugh Grant makes me wince sooo ... Colin Firth
3) cheering, then nostalgia
4) don't be afraid to offer
5) can't think of anything off the top o' my head

Aimee said...

I have shamelessly jacked your questions to prompt some comments from my readers (but linked to you and I did give you all the credit!) Thank you for your creativity -- it takes the pressure off us lazy/less creative bloggers :)

bubandpie said...

Natalie - Now I'm trying to figure out if you and I ever met...probably not - I'm not exactly deeply involved in dept. social events. But your husband is onto something with the Mr. Darcy thing, I'm afraid. Sigh.

Tina C. - I was hoping you'd pop in for a visit on this one! That's quite the question, though. I'd have to go with (a) - I think bloggers tend to be queen of the backhanded boast: that form of self-deprecation that actually evinces a firm belief that we're adorable enough to be forgiven for anything.

Jenifer G. - I think of the really big-time mommybloggers as those whose readership is so large that it's simply not feasible for them to be involved in a reciprocal relationship with their readers - they get hundreds of comments on each post, but you don't see them around the blogosphere commenting. Amalah, Dooce, Finslippy, Sweetney - there are more, I'm sure, but those are the ones in my orbit.

Kittenpie - Those librarian instincts show through sometimes, don't they?

Lawyer Mama said...

1. Ah! I can't choose! It depends on my mood. Harry Potter's an easier read.
2. Good boy. (Exh. A - my husband)
3. A bit of both. I love watching them accomplish new things but it happens so fast...
4. Don't judge!!! New moms need to learn to trust their instincts & a tsk tsk does NOT help!
5. What is your favorite book of all time? (I haven't read the other questions, so I hope no one's asked!)

LIB said...

Hi Buband Pie! I've been a regular reader since 'planet nomad' suggested you. Now I'm officially 'delurking'. I love your writing.

laura said...

Can't remember if I've commented before, but I read quite regularly!

2) Colin Firth. No question.
3) Definitely "yeah! bring it on!" though I will admit that my daughter was a charming little baby at times.
4) Don't make her cry.
5) What is your fantasy kid-friendly vehicle?

bubandpie said...

Kyla - Oh, no, I skipped your question! Until he was over a year old, "Bub" was the common denominator for a whole range of nicknames we used in preference to his given name, which took a little growing into. Bobo, Bubbie, Bubboo - he got them all (just never Bubba). When I started my blog, he had just barely outgrown the nickname - and now, of course, I have to stop myself from referring to him as "Bub" in casual conversation. "Pie" is a nickname that attached itself to the Pie almost immediately - it wasn't a decision, at all - just something that happened of its own accord. She had a little strawberry outfit, so we called her the strawberry pie, and then sometimes Pooky Pie or Pook, or Pie, or PookPie. It makes me a bit nostalgic, now, thinking of it.

Lawyer Mama - Since my Jane Austen preferences have already been inquired into, I'll set aside her oeuvre altogether (though, really, P&P is probably my favourite book of all). The non-Austen top contenders are Jane Eyre and Anne of Green Gables. The last time I taught Jane Eyre, though, I was truly AMAZED at the awful dialogue - that's not the kind of thing I noticed when I was fourteen. And I've taught AoGG so many times that it's no longer a book I can just sit down and read. One of the best books I've read in recent years, though, is Ian McEwan's Atonement - a book I would never have picked up when I was younger due to its male author and recent publication date. So there you go - four options: you can take your pick.

Anonymous said...

lurking and loving it...
I just like to look into the window of others homes; I promise I won't take anything (or leave anything), just want to see how the other half lives.

If you don't want lurkers, don't post publicly. I'll continue to lurk, but doubt I'll ever, comment again.

mamatulip said...

1) Um...I haven't seen enough of either to offer an educated opinion.

2) The nice guy. I'm a sucker for a guy in a reindeer jumper.

3) A little from Column A, a little from Column B, and some tears, too.

4) Giving forceful opinions.

5) What's your middle name?

Bobita~ said...

I can't let this comment string end with that last anonymous comment, so...

Every time I read your blog, I love you more! Your questions were awesome, as was your Jack and Jill activity in your class!

1. I love Harry, but could never choose him over my beloved Strider/Aragorn.

2. Bad boy. Really bad boy.

3. Hmmm. Both.

4. Ask. If advice is ever given, make certain you have established your stance of non-judgment.

5. If you were to identify with a character in a book, play or movie...who would it be?

bubandpie said...

Laura - When I was growing up, my BFF's parents had a highway bus that had been converted into a motor home, and every summer they took fabulous family vacations all around North America. Over the years I was invited along for several of these trips - to Disney World, Nashville, and Hilton Head, among other places. There simply could not be a fantasy kid-friendly vehicle that would beat it.

Anonymous - Don't worry - full cloaking functionality should be restored by tomorrow.

Mamatulip - Kristina.

Bobita - It would be too obvious to say that I'm a mixture of Anne Shirley and Emily Starr, so instead I'll observe that when a good friend of mine read Jean Webster's Daddy-Long-Legs she accused me of having cribbed my personality from Jerusha Abbot. Clearly, I belong in one of those turn-of-the-century orphan-makes-good novels.

kelly bee said...

hi! de-lurking at last. thanks for giving me a reason. the momentum of lurking is just hard to break sometimes. i mean, how do you finally say hello? do you say, "oh, i just found you and you're great!" or do you admit to lurking and say, "hi there. i've been reading you for months, i know you and your family very well and i'm just now taking a moment to say hello." it's kind of creepy, right?
so...hi, i'm kelly and i have two little boys (age four and two) and we are in the process of adopting a baby girl. she's two months old and is in guatemala.

1-Harry Potter! Am hoping Ms. Rowling will write something for mommies when she's done with Harry.
2-Colin Firth. (But he can pretend to be naughty anytime!)
3-Bring it on...especially if it involves potty training.
4-Never say never. We all just have to do what will get us through the day and what's right for our kids.
5-Does your husband read your blog everyday?
Thanks for writing such an entertaining and enlightening blog! I always enjoy it.

Christina said...

Not really a lurker, but I don't comment as often as I should.

3. I love new milestones, because it generally means Cordy will be happier as a result. The kid hates the baby stage of life, and can't wait to move on to the adult stage, I think.

Kyla said...

Hehe, you were in my room while I was in yours. I was reading through your comments when you commented on my post. *lol*

bubandpie said...

Kelly Bee - Initially, hubby was quite resistant to reading my blog. I think maybe he was worried I'd expect compliments on it. Now he keeps caught up with all my posts, though he doesn't always have a chance to check in every day.

And Momish - I thought I'd post a tally, now that (Inter)National De-Lurking Week is almost officially over. I've had 7 fully-fledged lurkers pop up (people of whom I had no previous knowledge), and about five more people that I've seen once or twice before, or not in a long while. It's been fun!

Mete said...

1 - Hate them both (sorry. hate fantasy books. BORING.)

2 - Colin Colin Colin, whether he's the good boy or the bad boy. But otherwise, good boy.

3 - Honestly, i seem to miss the actual moment and only start to realize a week or two later that something new has been going on. Then I get all ridiculous. "My baby is ALL GROWN UP! sniff sniff"

4 - Don't make her feel like she's missing something, or doing something "wrong" (whatever that is). Try to encourage her instincts and make her think SHE just figured something out about her baby.

5 - What are YOUR answers to these questions?

Mouse said...

Since I'm not a lurker, I held off for a bit. Then I decided I wanted to play too:

1. For a quick get-away, Harry Potter. To really get into a whole different world, LOTR. I find this to be the case with both the books and the movies. Harry is what we break out if we want something on, LOTR if we want to lose ourselves in that gorgeous world.

2. Shifting the paradigm a little here, but still basically the same question. I'm attracted to the bad-ass with a heart of gold. My current object: Starbuck from BSG. She's got the swagger, drinks, smokes, gambles, gets into fights, makes bad decisions in love. BUT she had an awful childhood and is obviously overcompensating. (When I was thinking about this the other day, I asked myself, "Funny I ended up with Trillian then, huh?" Then I remembered that when I met her she was working on her black belt in a style of karate that involved full-contact sparring. Hmmm...).

3. A mix of both with wild, unpredictable swings. Except for potty training--that was (and still is to a smaller extent) unequivocably "Bring it on!" Right now!

4. Mostly what others have said. Just remember that every kid and parent is different, so your experience may not apply.

5. Given our frequent likemindedness, I figure you should be able to pick out your own question from me.

Mrs. Chicken said...


Joker The Lurcher said...

1) Lord of the Rings - both the book and the film
2) thse days a nice boy but neither of the ones you suggest - both too skinny!
3) both - i still use a lot of his baby words (like begads for teabags) long after he has stopped. but i loved it when he started talking and could tell me where it hurt!
4) don't thin you know it all - the little darlings are all different and just saying "this worked for me" is a lot less scary.
5) autism blogs - can you post the links?

natalie said...

No, I don't think we've ever met. I did my M.A. 6 years ago.

bubandpie said...

Mete - Since Aimee was kind enough to "jack" my questions, I went over and answered them on her blog. Here's what I wrote:

1) For movies, LOTR all the way (I find the Harry Potter movies almost unwatchable, and not because of any sense of purist outrage - just because they're so DULL). But as for the books, I'll read the Harry Potter series over Lord of the Rings any day.

2) I like the nice guys. (Especially now that I'm married to one.)

3) Bring it on.

4) My favourite word of advice on this question from the discussion at my blog is to remember that I'm not the expert - I will probably have something to learn from her.

5) This one's actually hard. I think I burned up my question-asking juices yesterday. So I'll go with something frivolous: have you seen any good movies lately?

Aimee recommended Little Miss Sunshine (a recommendation I heartily second); I myself have not seen any movies for a very long time, but I'm excited to see Miss Potter.

Mouse - My brain may break from this challenge - what question would you like to ask me? Well, I don't know if this one would be at the top of your list, but I know that we share a kind of vicarious attachment to each other's sons, so on your behalf I'll ask myself, "How is Bub's language development coming along?" and I'll answer, "Great! His language seems so much more complex and spontaneous now. We're still having problems with pronoun reversal, though he's inching up towards about a 30% success rate in using 'I' and 'me' correctly. For instance, after his bath, he grabs hold of his hoodie towel to make wings and announces, 'I am an eagle!' or "Time to be a flamingo!' and flies around. Pretend play and correct pronoun usage - very, very encouraging."

Joker - Here are my faves:

Jacob's Journey

Day Sixty-Seven

I'm still pretty lurk-y at Mom-NOS's place, though I have poked my head up a couple of times to say hello. And she, as you can see, is kind enough to do the same for me.

This Mom is one I read occasionally, but I can't seem to find a feed to subscribe to, so my Bloglines dependency means my visits are sporadic.

Karen said...

1. Lord of the Rings,et al ("Ride out with me! -who can resist that?)
2. good boy with disheveled look...(lake scene. anyone?)
3. Bring it!
4. I never pretend that I have my shit together, because really, I don't. Then I can make friends instead of being an advice dispenser. If I have anything to offer anyone at all, even a new mom, it may only be that I know it's hard and glorious and messy and worth it.
5. What is the most miserable time of day at your house - I have three kids and am searching for someone who has a solution to our between nap and bedtime blues - any thoughts?

I love your post and you are part of why I just started my very own. you can visit me at

bren j. said...

Odd, I never thought of myself as a 'lurker' before. That makes it sound so creepy and stalker-ish. It all started when I googled something about Canadian candy (living in America...the things I miss about Home...)and up came your blog and I've been addicted ever since!

On to the questions:
1) LOTR - but only in terms of the movies. Slogging through the book is a chore!
2) Somebody mentioned the 'lake scene' and I can only imagine they're referring to Colin Firth emerging from a dip in the pond. What could be better? (Well, okay, if it were my husband emerging in said scene.)
3) I will be a mom at the end of June. Until then, I can't comment.
4) Again, I can't really comment, but I appreciate what some of the others have been saying about not assuming experiences are the same for everyone.
5) How in the world do you find time to be a wife, a mom, AND teach college English, much less read all those books?!? I'm baffled, but can only hope to aspire to such multitasking!

Mouse said...

That was something I wanted to know about. And--here's a big surprise--I've got some language-themed posts in the works right now because Scooter went through another burst over the holidays.

bubandpie said...

Karen - Most miserable time of day? You guessed it: 5-6 pm. It's much, much worse, though, on days they've been in day-care: take the added stress of the day and then try to put them through all the transitions (coats on, in the car, out of the car, in the house, coats off) - it's a recipe for disaster. What helps is a good snack after naptime, and shameless bribery: 30 minutes of Fred Penner while I make supper.

Bren - Actually, I'm a stalker TOO! Your blog URL shows up on my SiteMeter when you click over to my blog, so I've been visiting you from time to time (most recently this morning). I was very excited to read about your pregnancy. Did you know that I lived in Winnipeg for two years? Does it help you forgive me for being from Ontario? ;) From now on, I'll comment when I come by (at least some of the time, anyway).

bubandpie said...

Oops, Bren, I was so busy confessing to stalking your blog that I forgot to answer your question. How do I do it all?

(a) I can usually count on two hours of napping/quiet time each afternoon (this is when I blog and/or grade papers).

(b) I read "fun" books for half an hour before bed each night (not usually at other times of day unless the book is very suspenseful).

(c) I have a supportive husband and a truly wonderful home-care provider - and two sets of grandparents who occasionally pinch hit when my marking pile gets too high.

ewe are here said...

Hey! I have a lurker from Sheffield, UK, too! Wonder if it's the same person?

I should have thought of questions! What a great way to suck people in... And I'll play even though I'm not a lurker. ;-)

1. LOTR movies better; but love the Harry Potter books
2. Colin Firth
3. Yeah! Bring it on!
4. Don't judge! (or if you just can't help yourself, keep it to yourself!)
5. How long does it normally take you to write your fabulous posts? They're always so thoughtful and well-written; I'm constantly in awe.

bubandpie said...

Ewe - My impression is that I write very quickly, because it's so absorbing that I lose track of time, but in reality I think it usually takes me about an hour (though of course part of that is linking, uploading photos, etc.).

nonlineargirl said...

1) Harry Potter (I find Lord... boring. Fell asleep in movie #2, never saw #3)
2) nice guy
3) "Yeah! Bring it on!" - wherever she is now is what is most exciting and fun. I keep thinking I don't want her to change, but then am excited when she does something new.
4) The women I know who've had kids since I did tend to want to know the magic bullet (for sleep, for crying...). Don't say "you MUST do X" - offer what you did and talk about why it worked for you, without suggesting that it is the only or best way to do things. Much better for the mom and for your friendship (in case they choose a different tactic).
5) Are you as patient as you appear?

bubandpie said...

NG - Hey! You're the record-breaking commenter! (This post has by far the most comments, but if you subtract the, like, 14 or 15 that I've written, it was still only tied for the record until you showed up.) Ahem. On to your question.

Bwahahahahaha! I appear patient! My mom did tell me just the other day that I seem very patient to her. That, of course, is in relation to my children and not to my husband, against whom all that suppressed rage is inevitably projected. (Case in point: last night he asked in a friendly, supportive manner if I was planning to have a bath before bed, and I responded by biting his head off. Something to do with the fact that my day-care provider is barfing and therefore my kids will stay home until further notice and thus all personal hygiene measures are basically suspended until things get back to normal.)

bren j. said...

No worries!
You were forgiven for being from Ontario from the very start! Any brilliant Wonder Woman who counts U2 among her favourite musicians and Pride and Prejudice among her favourite books can be forgiven much!
And yes, having lived in Winnipeg for two years is a bonus. :)
(Beyond that, I have met some truly amazing Ontarians - one of my closest friends from high school lives there now, as does my brother.)