Thursday, March 08, 2007

Five Reasons

…why I blog.

I was so excited when Momish tagged me for the latest "five reasons" meme – but now that I’m trying to do it, I’m overcome with a Bloomian sense of belatedness. There is nothing new for me to say, no way for me to break out from the shadow of the giants who have gone before me. So I’ve decided to stop fighting it and simply steal ideas from my betters. Here is why I keep showing up around here in the blogosphere:

1) The Delights of Anticipation. Gwen described this one far better than I ever could, so I’ll just shamelessly quote her entire paragraph:

Once I watched this awful, Ritz cracker of a horror movie about innocuous household appliances run horribly amok (and we say the film industry doesn’t know how to give the people what they want. But evil lamps! What could be better?). Someone would walk innocently by the toaster and next thing you know, his hand would be holding a fork and the fork would be shimmering its way towards the metal slots and then BAM! Electrocution! I don’t know the name of the movie or when I saw it or even how the evil current was brought under control. But one of the appliances that turned dangerous was the garbage disposal. A routine dish washing would result in bloody stumps. Every single time I stick my hand down my own disposal now to pull out a lemon or extract a teaspoon, I half wonder if maybe this time the blades will go Andrew Cunanan and attack me. Every time.

That’s why I blog; because every post brings with it the possibility of some great and completely unexpected, yet oh so dramatic, outcome.

(Now go read her whole post; it’s better than mine.)

2) Increasing my Slang Vocabulary. If it weren’t for blogging, I wouldn’t even know the word "asshat." (Seriously? The one brand-new, kind-of-funny idea I had for this post was to remark on how glad I am that I blog so that I can learn words like asshat – only to find that Sage beat me to it in her post this morning.)

3) Needed Injection of Sanity. To see the blogosphere at its best, go read this post, and the comments. It redeems my faith in momkind to know that we can talk about sleep-deprivation and crying babies without judgment, that we can give advice without preaching, that we can break the stranglehold the so-called experts have on us and really communicate.

4) Compliments. No linkage here. I’ll just come out and say it: I’m in it for the compliments. Feel free to send some my way. (And while we're on the topic, does anyone else have a broken SiteMeter? Mine says I've received no visits since yesterday at 6 am, confirming my suspicion that none of you actually exist, and all my comments are being written by Jessica, my evil alternate personality.)

5) I Blog Therefore I Am. Yes, blogging is a kind of online baby book, and yes, it’s a creative outlet – but more than that, blogging is how I have figured myself out, now that motherhood has taken everything I was and altered it out of all recognition. As Lawyer Mama puts it, "motherhood, and the way it elementally changes you, is scary as hell. And so we write about it." (Sing it, sistah!)

And now that I’m overcome with anxiety about my utter inability to say anything original in response to this meme, I’ll invent my own counterpart to it:

Five Things that are NOT the Reason I Blog:

1) To prove my trendiness by showing off my fashionably clad babies.
2) To gain helpful tips on the One Best Way to parent.
3) To record every single cute thing that comes out of my children’s mouths (though I do save some up for you guys occasionally, ’cause I know how much you love them).
4) To make up for my lack of success in all others spheres of life (well, okay, that one kind of is why I blog…).
5) To avoid spending time with my husband and children. (That’s a side effect, not a motive.)

I tag Mimi, Mama Thoughts – Sarah, and Planet Nomad. Why do you blog?


Beck said...

I'm glad you blog. And also, I'm feeling pride, because I'm the one who mentioned "asshat" in the first place. Yes, my vocabulary shines. I have this very foul-mouthed 21 year old brother, you see.
"Bloomian". I've never seen that word in use before and look at you throwing it around all casually like that. Clever!

kgirl said...

asshat. asshat. asshat!

i comment so that i can say things like asshat, since saying it in your post is soooo this morning. (get with it, b&p!)

(and to let you know how much i'm glad you blog, whatever the reason.)

slouching mom said...

I'm new to your site, and even I am glad you blog! So there.

Lately I am preferring the blogworld to my actual world, for various and sundry reasons. How do I know? I have a burn on my right thigh from my laptop (why the computer generates heat on one side only is a mystery to me, but I'll take one burn over two).

It's my admittedly masochistic blogging badge of honor.

metro mama said...

I share these reasons for blogging. Like the other commentors, I'm so glad you do (there, a compliment!)

Mary-LUE said...

Excellent reasons. Excellent blog links. Excellent reasons NOT to blog. Overall excellence... just what I've come to expect from you. Is that complimentary enough? ;)

Mimi said...

My compliments to the blogger :-)

Yay! Getting tagged is fun! Oh wait. Now I have to think of five good reasons. Uh-oh.

flutter said...

Well here you go, here's a compliment.
You rock, and are so not an asshat, pantywaste or douche. That is all, thank you.

Momish said...

Ahh, I am glad you blog too! I love your twist on the whole thing and the 5 reasons why you don't blog!

Asshat is a great new word. I shocked my step kids with that one!

Oh, The Joys said...

I write all the comments. Heh.

Mad Hatter said...

"that's a side effect, not a motive."

Ohhhhh indeedy.

Let's see. How to compliment the blogger who has everything? Well, your ironic invokation of Harold Bloom is quite telling given the anxiety I feel over your influence. I know I've been doing this longer than you but you were bigger than Elvis when I came out of hiding. I still write posts thinking "I hope B&P likes this." Seriously.

PeanutButtersMum said...

Ok, so what DOES asshat mean, anyway? I need to know. Yes, I've heard it. yes, I've felt the urge to use it. BUT: I need to know if I'm going to use it properly!

Mad Hatter said...

BTW, your site meter might not be working but mine is. It would appear that all my visitors tonight that are not google pervs are coming from here. Such is the power of your influence.

Um, that is a compliment, right?

Mayberry said...

Here's a compliment for you, just to prove I was here even if your sitemeter can't see me. Love your asshattery-free blog!

bubandpie said...

Kgirl - How you make me laugh.

SM - Apparently the "lap" part of laptop wasn't meant to be taken literally.

PBM - I don't pretend to know the definition; I'm too busy feeling cool because I know the word.

Mad - My, you give good compliments.

I'm really hoping that someone can tell me how to fix my SiteMeter, though. I'm going into withdrawal here.

Anonymous said...

ah bub--so glad you're here.

xo catherine

mamatulip said...

You know what slang I love that I learned through the blogsphere?

Fucktard. God, I love that one.

Gwen said...

Thanks for the props, B&P. When I finally realize my dreams of fame, fortune and celebrity, I will definitely remember to thank you, since most of my readers from yesterday were from you!

And you forgot one reason you blog: to make the world safer for punctuation.

NotSoSage said...

Is it bad that #1 and #3 on your why you DON'T blog list would be on my why I DO blog list? Hmmm...

And, oh my god, where did you get that shirt? You look so HHHOOOOTTTT. (Since it's no longer IWD, I thought it necessary to introduce a compliment that objectified you. What's with all this, "Oh, you're so smart" stuff. The woman is HOT.)

theflyingmum said...

I am, in AWE of you. I like to pretend that your blog is an online university course, because I actually learn things here! (will try to turn my homework, uh, comments in on time more often...)
Gotta go, I have a request to read "Captain Underpants and the Invasion of the Incredibly Naughty Cafeteria Ladies from Outer Space"
Why do I blog again?

Redneck Mommy said...

I'm so glad you blog. Because where else would someone tell you the real truth about the first week of parenting...

Good Gawd, woman, I can barely catch my breath after reading that post. Freaking hilarious!!!

Now, let me toss compliments at you like rose pedals, not only to ensure your ego is appeased and you continue blogging, but because you've earned them.

Aren't I an asshat!


Pieces said...

Great lists. And anything you say is fresh and unique--so never worry about saying something new.

Asshat. I love it.

Christy said...

Very funny! I was just thinking this the other day. Reading blogs (since I don't have my own), I've picked up words like asshat and assvice. I don't really use them in everyday conversation, but I know them. And, I'm glad you blog.

Jenifer G. said...

I am very glad you blog...Catherine talked about blog are both at the top of my list.

Is that anonymous catherine - THE Catherine? Holy Moly.

At any rate, I love your blog and can't wait to try out asshat.

Lawyer Mama said...

Well, I'm in it to preach to everyone about the One Best Way to parent.
Gotcha! LOL! Seriously, you explained why I blog so well that I need to cut & paste your entire post onto my blog! And the discussions that happen in the comments. Those are awesome, amazing, insightful, sometime furiating, but always thought provoking.

My SiteMeter has been broken since I changed my layout and I'm in withdrawal too. I wish I knew more about html.

Oh and I can't forget your compliment - You have no idea how much I look forward to reading your blog and the comments. I like all of your posts, but I really love it when you talk about books. It seriously turns me on! (But not in a creepy way.) I don't always feel that I have insightful comments, but it's a hell of a read. Keep it up, B&P! (No pressure though.)

bubandpie said...

Jenifer G. - I've been wondering the same thing. I left a comment for her yesterday, so maybe it was "THE" Catherine. Last time she commented here she used her Blogger ID, though - but the "xo" is kind of her M.O. (Aren't we so creepy - hee hee.)

That's the great thing about "asshat" - every time I see it, I laugh some more.

Sarah said...

Thanks so much for the tag! I have sick kiddos...but I am working on it. I love reading your blog!

Catherine said...

My site meter is broken too! I've been beside myself! And I'm so glad to know that I'm not really as alone as I currently feel. Hmmm..

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the tag. I finally got my response posted tonight.