Sunday, April 22, 2007

Grump

The worst part about being grumpy and hormonal is the sheer effort required to contain the bitchiness. My head is pounding with the internal pressure of all the mean things I want to say. After letting slip a viciously sarcastic inquiry as to why hubby ran the dishwasher last night even though the bottom rack still contained three empty slots, I devoted the rest of my energy this morning to closing my mouth around acrid-tasting inquiries about when he was going to attend to the Christmas lights still strung along our roof, the ant infestation in my kitchen, or the perennially postponed yard work.

The wonderful thing about attending church, though, is that it turns my wrath away from my innocent husband and focuses it instead on the homicidally irritating woman who intones "Amen!" after each of the pastor’s utterances. Instead of composing honey-do lists and drenching them in acid, I spent the service mentally rehearsing a scene involving that woman and myself and featuring smashed heads, bloody noses, and appalled witnesses.

Today is the kind of day that comes along only two or three times a year. My windows are thrown open to admit birdsong and breezes; the trees in the front yard are tipped with the first unfurling newborn leaves. It’s a day for sunscreen and sandboxes, wagon rides and long line-ups at Dairy Queen. And I’m spending it like this:


Do ovulation hormones combined with the missed delivery of the Sunday paper – and crossword – entitle me to a nap, a mud pie Blizzard, and a good long pity party?

51 comments:

slouching mom said...

Sure. But only if you get me a Blizzard, too.

Jenifer said...

Yup. Went to DQ on Friday. I am so suffering today...PMS gave way...to a very cranky and splitting headachy person.

Good thing hubby has been outside with the girls all day while I sulk around the house rummaging through the summer clothes totes looking for shorts and capris for the girls.

Christina said...

Yes, I think it does. And a larg mud pie Blizard at that, too.

Lately I've been grumpy from my last trimester surge of hormones. Of course, being this pregnant, few dare to cross me when I'm being a grump. Aaron tells me to take a nap, and offers up ice cream willingly.

Mouse said...

Although the weather is gorgeous, our apartment stores up the heat with no good means of releasing it--so I've got the beginning of ovulation grumpiness, stress headaches, and uncomfortable overheating combing to make me particularly cranky.

A Blizzard sounds very good and a DQ opened up not too far from us!

Antique Mommy said...

Yes. In fact, you should be able to get a prescription for those things.

Kyla said...

Mmmmmm...Blizzard. I think so.

cinnamon gurl said...

Yes.

Hee hee... but I'm only saying that so you won't send a flameball across the internet. ;)

kidding...

Your crankiness made me laugh though... does that make you feel better?

bren j. said...

Oh absolutely! It's spring and regardless of hormones, it must be celebrated! Happy Blizzard-eating!

Blog Antagonist said...

Oh boy, I've been that way all day as well. But rather than hormones, my irritation was caused by a houseful of 12 year old boys.

But whether hormonal or child induced, I think a Blizzard will cure it either way. And I'll join you in that pity party. My house is absolutely wrecked.

Omaha Mama said...

Yes, yes, and yes. I'm suddenly craving chocolate. You're lucky that it's a few times a year. I'm evil several days a month. Brought on totally by hormones, but of course the man of the house thinks that's an excuse.

Hope the veil lifts - I hate feeling like that!

s@bd said...

I am SO with you.

Jennifer (ponderosa) said...

And I thought I was the only one who got this way!

Suz said...

Most definately. Chocolate is a necessity at these times.

bubandpie said...

Omaha Mama - It's the perfect weather that only happens a couple of times per year. But that said, I'm not often THIS cranky for a whole day.

Catherine said...

YES. Go knock yourself out. I remember pitching a fit as a child when my mom would (can you believe it??) take a break from me. My dad would tell me that she was actually doing this because she loved me; she was doing this FOR me, since she would be such a better mom when she came back....

Emmie (Better Make It A Double) said...

Amen.

- umm, sorry, couldn't resist. A friend of mine was talking about her very, very emotional and evangelical aunt, and she said she wanted to give her a "full Gospel b*tch clap". I think I snorted coffee through my nose at that point...

I hear you. If DH doesn't quit leaving his damned peanut butter jar on the counter with a dirty bread knife on top of it, I'm going to disect him with it.

Luisa Perkins said...

Dang it! Emmie beat me to it!

(Though we don't know each other, I have to say I loved your anecdote, Emmie.)

B&P you are absolutely entitled! And fire your paper boy when you get home from the DQ.

mcewen said...

Oh yes, I'm sure most of us have been there on much less.
Cheers

flutter said...

let me think about that for a sec.
Yep, it does. Does the worst period I have had in my adult life entitle me to one....and a bottle of wine?

TrudyJ said...

Yeah, I'd say you definitely have a Blizzard coming your way! (and I like the way you think)

Beck said...

I'm a mite PMS-y this morning, perhaps. I'll see if I can send someone the half hour to the nearest DQ for my prescription...

kgirl said...

They sure do. At least you sometimes bite your tongue. I'm not endowed with the gift of restraint when it comes to acrid remarks or blizzard eating.

Gwen said...

I hate hormonal bitchiness because it tells me that, despited all my claims of higher ordered thinking, I'm just a dumb chemical animal .... how was that for cheery? :)

I have found that saying out loud to my husband, "I am so cranky. I don't know why, but I really am." helps both of us tremendously.

I hope you enjoyed your Blizzard.

Her Bad Mother said...

You shouldn't even have to ask that question.

TWO blizzards. And a Peanut Buster Parfait for dessert.

bubandpie said...

Gwen - That is exactly what I was thinking yesterday: this proves that we really are just bodies, just the products of whatever cocktail of chemicals happens to be affecting our brains today.

But then (as you observed) the mere act of acknowledging that seems to provide a helpfully distancing effect - I'm hormonal and grouchy today, but the "real" me will be back tomorrow. (And she is.)

Denguy said...

Oops! our Christmas lights are still up too.

jen said...

you know, sometimes we just need to allow ourselves to be in the space we need to be. with the caveat of course, that we don't stay there a minute longer than absolutely necessary for our survival.

nomotherearth said...

I have been espcially bitchy myself lately. I DO think a Blizzard would make everything better. I bought Baskin & Robbins Peanut Butter and Chocolate this weekend for my fix.

Mad Hatter said...

I have told my husband that I want him to read you post from last week so that I can convince him to do the Myers Briggs. Now I am afraid he will see this post and use it as fuel to get me to go to church. Poor soul, he is flailing under all my to-do lists.

I hope the mood lifts. Soon.

T with Honey said...

Ah, yes. Hormones... the ultimate get out of jail free card. And the ONLY cure is time, ice cream and chocolate. :)

Mary G said...

Just as long as you do not do the early Christian martyr bit and take down the lights yourself, steaming and stewing. Phyrric victory. I hate it when I miss the crossword!
Definitely, Blizzard time. All by yourself.
Hormones are Hell.

Mimi said...

Oh geez. Are you ME? I totally get like this too, and you're right: the hardest part is not saying all the bitingly witty / sarcastic / bitchy / mean things that your overdeveloped capacity for language can muster.

Amen (teehee).

On the hormone front, I am 'drying out' so in addition to bursting into tears three or four times a day, my boobs hurt and I want to punch someone. Gosh, it's like being pregnant, only I can't say my emotional eating 'is for the baby.'

Lawyer Mama said...

Yes, they do. It infuriates me when I don't get my paper and if the missing paper coincided with a certain time of the month, it would probably push me over the edge.

Hope you got your nap and your ice cream.

bubandpie said...

The nap lasted about 15 minutes - but it was nice while it lasted.

The mud-pie Blizzard was awesome.

The Christmas lights are still twinkling merrily in the sunshine - and today they don't bother me at all.

Bon said...

clearly, yes. in fact, i actually had the Mud Pie blizzard for you.

i can tell you, i enjoyed my end of it. and your description of the Amen lady nearly made me choke on it. :)

Steph said...

That graphic is perfect.

Julie Pippert said...

Will you bitchslap me if I say a very small lol?

What if I say it is because I SO TOTALLY know just what you mean?

And what if I say it absolutely entitles you to that?

:)

(P.S. I found the crankies getting worse as I get older. I shall be an utter curmudgeon by 45. And a shrew by 50. At this rate.)

Lisa b said...

I always vote for the blizzard.
Really it fixes everything.

I am nine months pregnant and hauled my fat self over to Dairy Queen the other day and it was CLOSED. There was no sign up so I just hope it wasn't a permanent closure.

Aliki2006 said...

Oh, I hope you're feeling better--I have those days, when I feel like I will spontansouly combust.

Is it bad that I have never had a Blizzard? I must try one...sounds just the thing.

NotSoSage said...

Just chiming in to say: Indeed.

kim p. said...

I've come to think of my PMS as "free-floating rage." Whatever is in my path gets torched! I can almost visualize the laser beams shooting from my eyes! Funny, but once I started to think of it in that way, it just seemed so ridiculous, capricious, and transitory, that I was much more accepting of the whole hormonal deal.

c4cara said...

Don't know what this Blizzard thing is, but I'm sure I'd like it!
Yessir on the unreasonable hormonal attack dog behaviour. Bless My Hub, If I apologise, he forgives me. He even knows he can't be the first one to say 'Gee are you a bit hormonal my love?' because that would be insulting and I would have to beat him. It's only ok when I say grumpily 'sorry, I'm a bit hormonal' and he nods kindly and offers me chocolate or a walk or something else he hopes will decompress me.

mamatulip said...

Yes, it certainly does. I hope the blizzard was good. :)

Kelly said...

My hormonal surge appears to be over, blessed be. But man, those things can be a doozy, huh? And yes, self-containment is a tremendous job that causes heart palpitations and chest pain from the sheer effort of keeping one's grumpiness from bursting forth in an all-consuming fireball.

I hear ya...

PunditMom said...

Heck, yeah! No Sunday paper! I couldn't live without it! Even PunditGirl, who won't leave mommy alone for a second knows that Sunday morning newspaper time is mommy's time -- better leave her alone! ;)

Heather said...

Hell yes.

I hate those kind of days. I know I am acting all crazy, but there is no stopping it. That's when I wish I had a 'Red Tent' to go to.

the end of motherhood said...

Absolutely. A missed Sunday paper alone is perfect excuse for a pity party...

PeanutButtersMum said...

And I thought I was the only one....

There is a cure for the pent-up frustration of keeping your nasty grumbles and retorts in: Let 'em out and then run for cover!! That's usually my plan of attack. At least at home, anyway...

wordgirl said...

Yes...they do. Don't mess with my Sunday paper. Just. Don't. Do. It.

Amy said...

Have you all survived or has the Grump prevailed? :-)

kittenpie said...

I must admit I've been reaching that state lately myself, but to my vast relief - yes, palpable relief - it was lifted by the arrival of glorious days. Phew. I'ts not my new status quo, after all!