Thursday, May 10, 2007

Strawberry Pie

[Snip: long, bragging post about Bub: His obedience! His willingness to eat strawberries and scrambled eggs! His newfound respect for my authoritah!]

And what is the Pie doing while Bub is busy asking permission and trying new foods?

I often feel guilty about how little I blog about the Pie. I keep a sharp eye on the list of categories over there on the sidebar, figuring that as long as the posts about "the little girl" amount to at least half the number of posts about "the little boy," I’m not doing too badly. After all, Bub has been around longer (almost exactly twice as long) – naturally I have more to say about him. But that’s not it, exactly. For me, most of the mental work of parenting revolves around the puzzle that is Bub. I parent him consciously, analytically, researching approaches and implementing them. With the Pie, however, my parenting is instinctive, responsive – she is so full of cues, demands, rewards.

More than that, though, there is a kind of elusive quality to the Pie – so much of who she is seems impossible to capture in words. I could tell about the time we went to Swiss Chalet – when the waitress took away my plate she tilted her head sadly and exclaimed, "Oh, my supper!" But words cannot do justice to her plaintive tone, her deep alto voice with its characteristic rising inflection.

Or I could blog about the way she graciously consented to drink some chocolate milk for breakfast this morning (breakfast being a bit of a problem each day). Chin down, bottom lip out, eyes round: "Chockit milk?" But I must leave to your imagination her absurd flirtatiousness, the extraordinary range of emotions invested in such a simple request.

Her hair is a mass of spirals when wet, and when it dries it’s a halo, fine as spider-webs. What she lacks in hair, she makes up in round cheeks and dark eyes – eyes that are wholly blue, with no inner ring of green or brown. The Pie is scrappy, determined, and playful, but when strangers come to visit she makes a bee-line for the kitchen, opening the cupboard doors and wedging herself between them, chin to chest. (I need to get her one of those camouflage onesies with the words "you can’t see me" printed in pink letters.)

A year ago this week, the Pie was weaning herself, hurling herself with abandon into the world of pur̩ed pears and butternut squash. Now, she likes to stick a hand down my bra looking for my belly button Рbut when I pull up the bottom of my shirt she tugs it back into place saying, "Shut!" with a decided nod of the chin. She is orderly yet playfully defiant, aggressive yet shy. She totally defies my attempts to describe her.


21 comments:

Lawyer Mama said...

Those pictures are priceless! I just wish they were in color so we could see her blue blue eyes.

"Chockit milk" made me laugh b/c that's exactly how my little one says it.

I tend to blog about my oldest a lot more too. I think part of it is not just that I have more history with him, but that his personality is more developed. And, dare I admit it, he's a lot more like me - complicated.

Mouse said...

Sometimes I think I'll have another one just like Scooter and sometimes I wonder if I'll end up with the sort of dichotomy you have.

And I do now feel like I know Pie better, even if some of her qualities are particularly elusive.

Karen said...

I enjoyed this slice of Pie. I'll have another helping anytime. She's really lovely.

Jenifer said...

What a sweet little Pie she is...I feel that way sometimes too in that I find the right words or any words inadequate to describe my girls.

"Chockit" was the same at our house too and I am so enjoying Rosebud's attempt at New York as it always comes out as, "U Nork."

Lovely photos of the Pie and I see your face in hers.

Mad Hatter said...

I have met her. She is all that indeed and as elusive as you say.

Poppy said...

Utterly adorable :)

Beck said...

What a cute little face!
It was such a SHOCK to me that my kids were not more similar - I don't know why, because I have brothers and we're certainly nothign alike, but I expected my kids to be much of a muchness.

Major Bedhead said...

She's lovely and it was lovely to hear about her a bit.

I don't blog that often about either of my little ones except to moan about their lack of sleeping. I need to step back from that and look at them again, at how they interact and how different they are. I, too, expected them to be similar. Silly, really, when my sister and I were (and are) so vastly different.

slouching mom said...

Ah, but just wait, B&P. At a certain point, you may find, as I have with Ben, that Bub is too old (too conscious, too private, too preadolescent, what have you) to serve as blog fodder, and then it will be all about Pie!

flutter said...

Oh she's just so..Pie.

Luisa Perkins said...

Photos like that reduce me to incoherent jelly. All I can think is, "Awwwwwwww!"

kgirl said...

I thought you just did a pretty darn good job.

Her Bad Mother said...

You don't need to describe her - although you do so beautifully - we get so much of who she is in the margins of all your other words - she's always there, peeking out, winking or sticking out her tongue. Or just smiling, content to keep her secrets, the girl in those photos. Inscrutably delicious.

bubandpie said...

HBM - Gasp! That is exactly who she is, what she does. This reminds me of your good-mother/bad-mother post: it's so easy to get caught up in what we are writing, and not realize how much is contributed by those who are reading.

Julie Pippert said...

She's adorable.

I really get the sense of *her* from your words. She is always there. Oh...cut. Yeah well there goes that...HBM said it, beautifully so DITTO that! LOL

FWIW? You make that onesie? let me know if it comes in a t-shirt size 6. I know a child who needs it...

LOL

Persistence also often gets short shrift in my stories. She's...I guess not as much a puzzle I need to talk out loud about as is my Patience.

luckyzmom said...

Oh, please, please keep that look in her eyes.

Kyla said...

Such a beauty!!! I have the same issues with balancing KayTar and BubTar on my blog. The blog was birthed out of my experiences with KayTar, so it stands to reason it is permeated with her presence...but I like to give BubTar the spotlight on occassion, too.

NotSoSage said...

Oh, two lovely, lovely photos of the gorgeousness that is the Pie.

As I said when we met, I always thought that my siblings and I were so different due to our very different circumstances. It was so strange for me to learn as I got older that sometimes siblings are just like apples and oranges.

Omaha Mama said...

Gorgeous!

I feel guilty about not posting much about my little guy. But at 13 months, there seems to be less ado. I must ponder this.

Bon said...

i'm late to this post...but i just wanted to say you have a beautiful daughter. i love the spirit in her face, and i can almost imagine the scene at Swiss Chalet, the expression, the tone.

she may not be the overt subject of your writing as often as Bub, but i am always aware that you have Pie, too. she has presence.

ewe are here said...

Pie is stunning!

And I, too, have so much more to say about my toddler than the baby right now...