Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Lurking is the Sincerest Form of Flattery

I love lurkers. Their love is pure - they come here and read what I write solely because they want to, expecting nothing in return. And when I manage to pull one of them out of hiding, their comments are especially meaningful (hi Jeannie! Natalie! Marian!).

Of course I love you too, regular commenters - but I get a chance to express that when I visit your blogs and leave my own comments. So today is I HEART LURKERS day at Bubandpie, and not entirely coincidentally, it is also "The Great Mofo Delurk" (not my title). Fantastic buttons are available in a dazzling variety of colours, so although I feel a little bit guilty doing this only nine months after National Delurking Week, I find myself unable to resist.

The Great Mofo Delurk 2007

And since it was so much fun last time, I'll do the mutual interview format again. All replies welcome! (You can answer one question or all five, as you are so led.)

1) If you're buying a house, do you base your decision on facts (price, location, square footage) or feelings (the "I can see myself living here" moment when you step in the door)?
2) What bad habit or parenting style are you most likely to catch yourself judging others for?
3) Do you watch Grey's Anatomy? If so, do you find Meredith charming or insufferable?
4) Tell me a cute kid story. (Here's mine: Yesterday, Pie was eating peas for supper - as per our usual peas/corn/peas/corn rotation - and she was piling them onto her spoon by hand. With each one, she murmured, "Do you want a ride?" Once she had four or five loaded up she'd whisper invitingly, "Are you ready?" - and then gobble them up.)
5) Ask me a question! I won't promise to answer this time (so no more questions about my weight, Veronica Mitchell), but as a general rule, I like nosy questions best.

The Great Mofo Delurk 2007


AnneK said...

I am a regular reader here but not a regular commenter. If I don't have anything to say I don't say anything. Questions are fun.
1) House buying based on facts, not on feelings. Hubby and I rarely make important decisions based on feelings. Feelings change, facts don't.
2,4) No children, no answers. Will a funny story of a friend's kid do?
3) No
5) What kind of church do you attend? I feel kind of weird asking that, but I am too nosy not to. Feel free not to answer :D

bubandpie said...

Anne - Look how eager I am, pouncing on the first question. I do apologize for the preponderance of child/parenting-related questions (though the judgy one can theoretically apply to anyone) - I love my non-mom readers too!

Right now, I'm attending a Baptist church - both hubby and I grew up in Baptist churches. We did spend several years in an evangelical Anglican church which has since died a long and painful death. I'm very homesick for that church sometimes, and I miss the liturgy.

Julie R. said...

Thank you for the comments you have left on my blog...!
I tend to judge parents that seem to have very little patience with their children, though I know there are times when I am guilty of the same.

Magpie said...

Ah! You broke your 24 hour rule!

1. Location. I had to be able to walk to the train station. And gemutlichkeit. It had to feel right.
2. Talking on the cellphone while pushing the stroller when the child is wide awake. Hey folks, interact with your kid!
3. No.
4. I asked her "Why are you naked?" The answer: "Because I took all my clothes off."
5. Might you have another child?

bubandpie said...

Magpie - I know! Who knows how many fabulous booky comments I may have missed because of it (on my last post).

In answer to your question: not on purpose. ;)

Loganator's Mom said...

First... Thanks for visiting and commenting (as well as noticing)

1.) Both. I know what I want. It has to have those things... price, location, sq footage and along with it has to feel right. One goes along with the other. Just so happens we are slowly house shopping now. Taking our time to find the house we plan to spend 10+ years.

2) Nagging the children. I get frustrated when parents worry so much about children getting messy while eating or playing.

3) Love Grey's Anatomy. I find Meredith both. Sometimes selfish & Self absorbed and other times I understand her dilemmas. Just like most of are in real life. Now the Blonde... getting on my nerves. If she gives one more speech I may quite the show.

4) One night Logan refused to stop playing trains and listen to me. My husband decided to step in,"Logan, are you listening to your mother?" Of course Logan ignored him. "Logan do you want a whuppin (Sp?)" Logan than went over to his father, lightly punched him, raised his fist and said "SEE THAT! SEE THAT! I WUPPED YOU!" Then quickly backed up and sat next to me as if for protection in case dad retaliated. We couldn't help but laugh.

My Question: How do you do it? Make time for everything? I always feel like something is getting left behind. The only time I have to blog is when I am slacking at work... like now.

Jennifer (ponderosa) said...

1 -- I have financial parameters for buying a house, but ultimately I buy based on feeling. We chose this house because on the day we brought the whole fam-damly (in-laws etc) to see it, they plopped themselves in the living room and started chatting as if they lived here. Viola! Decision made.

2 -- I judge parents for being overprotective. I know the parents are just worried about their kids, but I always want to shout: give the kid some space!

5 -- If you had the opportunity to live overseas for a year (finances etc working out perfectly), where would you live?

lar said...

1) I base house-buying on the kitchen. If I don't like it, we move on. After that, we base the decision on how little remodeling/painting/etc. we'd have to do to like it.
2) Feeding kids junk food. It bugs to watch parents give their kids soft drinks and candy--even though mine get them on rare occasions.
3) I find Meredith okay but Izzie completely insufferable--I fast forward through her lines.
4) My 5-yr-old discussing her upcoming birthday: "It's okay if lots of people don't give me presents. I have too much toys!" And she's so right!
5) I was going to ask you about church, but someone beat me to it!

Lawyer Mama said...

1) Both. I go with the gut & then decide if the gut is enough to overcome the facts. The gut won in my current house & now we live in a bad school district.
2) Ignoring the kids while they wreak havoc in public.
3) Yes and sometimes. I CANNOT stand Izzy though.
4) Last night at dinner - Me: "Holden don't throw your food!" Holden gives me dazzling smile and says, "I'm cute, Mommy!" Damn it, he's right.
5) Do you regret your career choices at all? I don't mean your area. Clearly you were destined to discuss and write about literature! But do you ever wish for more or less?

Mayberry said...

1) just the facts ma'am. I bought this one sight unseen (inside sight, at least), solely on facts.

2) lack of reasonable routine - as in "why is that child at the supermarket at 10 p.m.?"

3) don't watch. But she's probably insufferable.

4) Parents: "Remember, we are very gentle with babies."
Toddler: "I hit baby."
Parents: "No, no hitting the baby. Hitting hurts."
Toddler: "But I say sorry!"

5) When is the last time you changed the sheets on your beds? (Me: can't quite remember. Should probably get on that.)

Mad Hatter said...

1. Both but it must be both. All the facts can be aligned perfectly but without the feelings, it's a no-go. The feelings can also over-ride some of the less critical although still important facts.

2. Not paying attention when their kids is talking to them--and I don't mean interrupting them--I mean when their kid is just trying to get their attention at the park or something.

3. Don't watch it. I currently have NO shows. Isn't that sad. The 10pm bed time is killing me.

4. The other night after dark when I had Miss M out in the stroller, she insisted we stop by the beaver statue in the pitch-black park. I rolled the stroller up to the beavers and she started singing "Lullaby and goodnight, shut your eyes and sleep tight. Mommy beaver baby too, I'll sing a lullaby to you." It was at that point my heart cracked clean open.

5. Bathtub or shower? Morning or evening bathing?

Wait. That's two questions. Oh and damn! I'm not a lurker. Sorry.

Mad Hatter said...

Yikes! Mayberry, in case you read my comment, the 10pm bed time is grounded in reality at my house. I swear.

mopsy from said...

Lurker here.

1. We looked at 92 homes when we were house hunting. It was our agent's record. It was all about feeling, which I realize now was a mistake. It made me too emotionally invested and when things went wrong, a little too upset over what should be a business deal, in essence. The home becomes what you make it once you move in. All that said, I love our house.

2. I'm pretty judgmental about people who yell at their kids in public. What do they do at home? I am not perfect, and I do yell sometimes. But never WalMart Mamastyle.

3. I find Meredith insufferable, and I don't even watch the show.

4. Yesterday, one of my boys asked where we could get some lion milk.

5. The title of your blog makes me think of British pubs. Is this just me? Have you ever been to a real British pub?

dawn224 said...

I lurve Grey's Anatomy. Meredith is fine, Izzy continues to be nails on a chalkboard for me - which I hate b/c I want to lurve everyone!

McSwain said...

I love that you appreciate lurkers! There just aren’t enough hours in the day to comment often.
1. Feelings. And school district.
2. It drives me nuts when parents helicopter, are overly strict with their kids, give them no responsibility, and let them make no mistakes. It creates whiny tattle-tales who think they need permission to blow their noses. Did I mention I teach fourth grade?
3. Yes, and Meredith is insufferable. Which is scary, because part of the reason I love the show is because I identify so strongly with her.
4. My Boy, 8 and gifted, insists on believing in Santa. Yesterday, he mused about what the elves must eat, since food must be in short supply at a chilly and frozen north pole. After all, a diet of cookies alone would be unhealthy. A smirk snuck across his face as he said, “You know, they say the polar bear population is dwindling. You think?” I laughed hysterically, and he immediately chided both himself and me for “being disrespectful to Santa. I never should have said that.” Alas, where advanced intellect and childish emotion collide, great humor abounds.
5. How do you balance mothering/teaching/writing/reading? I do all of those things also, but can almost never find the time to actually write/read.

Florinda said...

I'm only a semi-lurker :-).

1) Combination, but mostly facts
2) Overindulgence and not setting limits
3) No, I haven't been ensnared by the folks at Seattle Grace (but I do read about them)
4) My then-7-year-old son was doing a health unit at school, and asked me if I ever smoked cigarettes. I answered him (honestly) that I'd never even tried it. He said, in the most serious way, "Good, because it's VERY bad for you."
5) Is there a hobby from your youth that you don't do anymore, and do you miss it?

Kit said...

1. It's feelings that sway me over choosing a house but the facts would have to be reasonably in order too.
2. Letting young kids self-regulate re bed-times or meal times. We're routine based which suits our kids, so it's difficult to accept that the opposite approach could work too.
3. Don't watch.
4. If you watch Bambi you'll know where her vocab comes from: Youngest with a pair of toy zebras: "They're twitterpating and now they're having a baby and everybody is really happy to see the baby."
5. Have you read the Dark is Rising series by Susan Cooper?

MOM-NOS said...

1. I take facts into account, but, ultimately, I make all decisions based on feeling. (INFP. What can I say?)

2. Using put-down "humor" (or teasing in a way that seems to cut too close)

3. Yes. Charmingly insufferable. I like her character. I like to watch her. I would not want her to be my friend.

4. Sorry - I save all the best stuff for my own blog. ;)

5. Are there blogs on which you regularly lurk but have not ever commented? If so, what are they and why haven't you?

Kyla said...

1) Feelings, definitely
2) When I hear parents threatening their children, ie. "I'm going to make your butt bleed." Yes, I've heard it on more than one occassion and I can't think of a single thought to redirect the judgment. Spanking is one thing...this is quite another.
3) Yes and BOTH at one time or another.
4) KayTar has taken to calling Josh "Sweet Cheeks." as in "Hi Sweet Cheeks!" "Oh Sweet Cheeks!" "Hug Sweet Cheeks." I love it.
5) Are you a night owl or early bird?

Rachel said...

1) Since I live in London I cannot afford to buy a house. I have never heard of anyone basing their choices on sq footage. School catchment areas yes, exclusive postcodes but not sq footage.

If I had to buy a house then the overall feel and the height of the ceilings coupled with the size of the garden and the proximity to a tube station would be my top priorities. After all, it may be the largest house ever but if it feels wrong it won't be home.

2) I don't have any children but I find myself irritated by parents who let their child shriek and cry. (and those that feed their children ready meals, junk food, coca-cola and crisps).

3) Never seen Gray's Anatomy.

4) I could tell you about the time that my mother said she found me head banging to the sound of the water running out of the bath taps when I was a little girl waiting to get into the bath.

5) Hhhmm. What to ask. Why do you blog? And do you think that your (or any) children should be 'exploited' as some might put it for blog material (as they are unable to give their consent to their images and actions being broadcast on the internet)? Don't get me wrong - I love reading your blog and I find your opinion interesting so it is not a criticism. I am just interested in your thoughts.

motherbumper said...

I will answer on question #1 because we are currently shopping around. Personally I go for feelings with a huge sprinkle of location. If you can picture yourself being there for years to come and get that cozy feeling - well you have found not only a house, but a home. Houses can always be remodelled and updated but not all houses can be your home.

Mrs. Ca said...

I'll just answer question 3 - I've been watching Grey's on DVD and really can't stand all the whining Meredith does, even though I really want to like her.

Welcome Ewe said...

I am a newbie to all this blogging stuff (hard to believe, I know). So I have been "lurking" here for only a few days. (More like "loitering" I would say).

1) Unfortunately, price would have to be at the top. I mean, if you can't afford it, you can't afford it. (I have never had any success with that money tree). Location is very important too.

2) Like another commenter said, I don't like to hear parents scream and yell at their kids (unless they are about to run in front of a mack truck of course).

3) I have never watched Grey's Anatomy. That one's hard to believe too, I know. I don't watch alot of tv, but when I do its usually HGTV, Food Network, TLC, etc.

4) Everytime my husband gives me a big hug or vice versa, my 5 year old squeezes in between us and says "cut that up". He said it for the first time when he was really small, and we thought it was so cute, it just kind of stuck.

5) What household chore(s) do you dread the most?

KAL said...

1. Definitely based on feelings first – about the house and the neighborhood in which it sits.

2. Overly-protective parents who won’t let their kids out of their sight (oh, that’s me).

3. I find Meredith insufferable more often than not. I like Izzie actually. My favorite character (though I realize I’m not following your instructions) is Miranda.

4. While sitting at the table, S. “built” Spiderman and Hulk from some Magnetix toys. Then he started talking to and about them: “Spiderman, you’re so cute.” and “Awww… here, Hulk… hug.” Pretend play? Wow. And adorable? Too cute.

5. Question: Chocolate or vanilla?

Julie said...

How about a racy question: are you more likely to imagine that your husband is someone else, or that you are? You know, like, during The Act. Of sex. Oh, fine, I said it.

I myself have never even thought to imagine my hubby was someone else but I have DEFINITELY imagined that I am.

nikki said...

1. It was a combination of everything. Price, perfect size, had what we were looking for, etc.
3. Meredith is annoying
4. "Mommy, what are you doing?"
"Scratching my chin."
"Because it itches."
"Well what color is the itch?"

Hi, first time reader! Look, I can follow directions!

ali said...

yes, i watch grey's. i hate Meredith. and i hate that now they'd got a Meredith-lite. Lexi grey IS meredith grey

jen said...

ah Bub...i read much more than i comment at your place - am not sure why that is exactly except that i think we have our own little relationship of ebb and flow.

what do you think? (ha, see, i worked that into a question)

Jess said...

1) I've never bought a house, but apartment renting has to do with location, size, convenience, price, etc.--but also the feeling. I will pay more if I absolutely love the place and I won't rent it if it feels off.

2) Putting kids on a leash.

3) No.

4) I don't have any kids. That's why I lurk on your blog: to borrow your cute kid stories.

5) I am afraid of asking something you've already answered, since I am newish to your blog, but--what was your first kiss like?

Corey said...

My 2 year old asked for a lollipop after dropping her brother off at preschool (she's still adjusting to him not being here 24/7) and I told her that we took them out of the car and she can have one when we get home. She said, "That's terrible!"

I love your writing but don't often comment. I'll try harder!

Mary Jo Graves said...

I just discovered your blog about two weeks ago and I have already read most of your archives. I am the mother of four grown daughters, 34, 32, 29, 25, and just became a grandmother five months ago. I am taking care of my grandson part-time, so I started reading mothering blogs to remember and learn.
1) In both cases we bought our houses within a few days. We were relocating and didn't have much time to look. I bought my present house 23 years ago because it had the best school system and best commute to Manhattan we could afford.
2) I already know that simultaneous blogging and grandson care is my new bad habit.
3) I watched Grey's Anatomy for two years but have now renounced it. I dislike Meredith and find the Izzy/George story beyond disgusting.
4) I am named after my parents (Mary, Joseph). Patricia, at 3, flabbergasted me: "Mommy, your mother's name is Mary; your daddy's name is Joseph. Why didn't they call you Jesus?"
5) Do you know of any grandma blogs?

Erin said...

Ooooo! Good questions. I lurk here but also comment occasionally.

1. House buying on facts. But go for feeling when it comes to the neighborhood/ city.
2. Giving into tantrums.
4. My 1.5 year old loves the book "Go, Dog, Go!" But when we get to the end, when the dogs go to the dog party, he always shakes his head "No! NO! NO!" He doesn't like the dog party I guess. I have no idea why, but he does it every single time.
5. I'm not usually very nosy and I can't think of anything clever. If you had to describe yourself and not include the words "Mom" or "Wife," what would you say?

nomotherearth said...

Not delurking obviously, but I will answer/ask a couple:

2. Parents who let their kids bully and steal toys in the sandbox without any reprimand. My Boy cries, and I am powerless to help him.

5. To continue your book meme, can you let me know what 10 books you would choose to be stranded on a desert island with?

Tina M said...

I am a lurker...mainly because I usually don't have things to add. But I can answer questions!

1) The two houses we have owned have been bought on facts, I haven't liked either but they made sense/worked. Next one, I want more emotion involved, I want to LOVE it. I want to have the option to look around, be picky, etc. I can dream!

2) I find myself judging parents who have kids out at the store at 10pm. I know, shouldn't judge, there may be a good reason, but kids need sleep!

3) Don't watch

4) Today, I told my 4 yr. old he could get up at 3 from his rest. He fell asleep and came running out of the room crying because he "missed 3" (it was 4:01).

ewe are here said...

1. Both, facts start as the primary focus, and then I have to like the place.

2. Parents who let their children terrorize/hurt/bully/snatch toys/push/etc from other children at the playground repeatedly without lifting a finger to stop it. Drives me nuts.

3. I love Greys, even though we're a full season behind over here. Meredith tilts towards insufferable for me, but I'm strangely drawn to keep watching.

4. Whenever I pop MF up on the changing table due to a dirty nappy (for god's sake, be potty trained already!), he now says Be gentle, mommy, be gentle!.

5. How long does it typically take you to write one of your (amazing) posts? Do you have a lot of drafts in progress? Or do they just come on a daily basis...?

Miscellaneous-Mum said...

I can't remember the questions now I'm here...oops! (Thx for visiting me)

I've got nothing going on right now, except I'm so looking forward to Elizabeth: the Golden Age.

Cate Blanchett grew up in the next door neighbourhood that I live in now... :) That makes us buddies in my book. ;)

Kathryn said...

I am becoming a regular commenter here as I just love your writing style. Cute kid story: My boys and I were hanging out with my mom the other day and she said "you are the nicest boys I know". To which my 4 year old replied, "well, we can be kinda sassy sometimes, so you're gonna have to find some other boys." HA HA HA!!!
A short time later the 4 year old started coughing and my mom said, "oh honey, do you have grandma's cough?". And he said, "no, I have mine.".

Alison said...

I'm a lurker most of the time. I love your thoughtful posts.

1) We've only bought one house so far, but it was based on price--we could afford it, so we took it and remodeled it.
2) Letting a child scream/run around unsupervised/hit other children without removing him or her from the situation.
3) I don't watch.
4)The other night before bed my four year old crinkled up her face in an expression she said was called "happysadish."
5) What's your favorite course to teach?

flutter said...

I don't lurk well....

Mrs. Chicky said...


(not technically a lurker, but eh..)

Meredith bugs the heck out of me, but I'm hopeful now that she's done with McDreamy (ha!) she'll grow a spine.

slouching mom said...

Oh, baby, you're gonna be answering questions all night long. I'm (obviously, sheesh) not a lurker. In fact, whatever the opposite of a lurker is, I am it. As you know.

So I won't add to the questions you've already gotten.

You may thank me now.

Kerry said...


1) I base it on whether it has most of what I was lookign for, and can I feel myself living there.
2) Reading trashy books.
3) I am a Grey's junkie, and I think the other characters are generally more interesting than Meredith, but that the stories involving her parents have been true and gripping.
4) My biological clock pounds every time my best friends' baby looks up at me when I'm holding him. Heck, it pounds when I look at a picture of him. And all he's doing is looking. (I have no kids)
5) If you could teach courses about non-intellectual books, would you?

bubandpie said...

Loganator's Mom - How do I find the time? I have low standards of personal and household cleanliness. My husband does a lot (grocery shopping, cooking, bathing the kids). My kids are in bed at 8 pm, and Pie sleeps for two to three hours in the afternoon. I read a real book for a half hour before bed most nights (sometimes longer).

Jennifer - England baby yeah!

Lawyer Mama - Do I regret my career choices? Oh my. I do an awful lot of routine self-maintenance to stave off the crushing regrets about not pursuing harder/landing a tenure-track job. But as time goes on, I'm starting to believe my own propaganda a lot more - I'm pretty happy with what I've got right now.

Mayberry - Hehe. That's my judgy Achilles heel too. As for the sheets, I changed them on the weekend, but that was because Bub had crawled into bed with us that morning and peed on them. The last time before that was a month ago when my parents stayed overnight so hubby and I could go off for a somewhat ill-fated anniversary mini-break. I used to change the sheets every two weeks like clockwork, but lately that's just seemed a bit excessive, so I'm cutting back.

Mad - Morning shower. Except when I'm in SAHM mode, then it's evening bath and morning stick-head-in-sink.

Occidental Girl said...

Hi! I comment here, but here is another.

House buying is based on FEELINGS because feelings are facts. Hee!

My kid is really funny but I can't think of anything to relay to you right now. I let you down.

cinnamon gurl said...

I'm sure you can guess I choose a house based on feelings, but the next time around I'd prefer to be a bit more fact-based, not compromising on things like a second bathroom or location... it would still have to feel right as well, but I don't want to be seduced by potential and low price tags.

I find most of Grey's characters annoying, but still I keep watching. I LOVE Bailey though!

I wanna know how long you take to write your posts, and how much you plan them. And I've forgotten what you are in myers-briggs?

Mouse said...

Not a lurker, but I can't resist anyway.

1. Trillian and I are in the middle of this. We started with facts and refused to even go see houses that didn't meet certain basic things. But the final decision definitely involved feelings. We walked into the place we have under contract and could just see ourselves living there forever. It's a little smaller than some of the other places, but just felt right.

2. Patience. I consider myself pretty patient, so I get all judge-y about parents who are being impatient in public--even though I know that when I reach the end of my patience, even a tiny little thing can make me insanely short.

3. I watch it, although I have been wondering why recently. Meredith alternately drives me nuts and gets my complete sympathy.

4. During a recent conversation, Scooter let me know that he would like a blue dog named Crosby. (And I really want a blue merle cattle dog--which I'm totally willing to name Crosby.)

5. What is your guiltiest TV pleasure?

bubandpie said...

Mopsy - A British pub! I never thought of that before - but now I'm tempted to get a custom header to capitalize on the theme and then change all my sidebar headings to things like "On Tap" (would that be the archives, do you think?) and "Pub Grub" (my blogroll?).

McSwain - I kind of answered this in response to Loganator's mom: I read books before bedtime, I read blogs over breakfast and in the evening, and I write my posts while the children are napping and/or while I'm supposed to be working.

Florinda - I used to play piano, but I don't really miss it that much: I have a piano now, but I rarely play it (it's not really the kind of thing I can do while the children are sleeping).

Kit - Nope - I've never heard of it, actually. Should I?

Mom-NOS - I read This Mom and Catherine Newman regularly without commenting. Because they're big shots who don't need affirmation? I don't know. That's not a good excuse. And now I'll be reading Gwen at Woman on the Verge without commenting because SHE TURNED OFF COMMENTS! To my dismay.

Kyla - Night owl by nature but early bird by necessity. Since having children I've discovered that my mind is basically non-functional after 8 pm - but if I just wait until morning, I'll be brimming over with ideas. Bub is a real morning person, always happy and hungry, and Pie is NOT.

Rachel - Perhaps because I'm not an especially private person myself, I find it hard to take seriously the idea that blogging violates a person's right to a secret childhood. Andrea at A Garden of Nna Mmoy wrote what I found to be some very persuasive posts on this topic awhile back - but those ideas are very much after-the-fact for me: I know that I would love to have a resource like this chronicling my own mother's (frustratingly forgotten) minutiae of early motherhood. (That, I suppose, is one reason I blog. There are many others - like how fun it is to get comments, for instance.)

Welcome Ewe - Scrubbing the bathtub has to be my least favourite (especially while pregnant, but other times as well). It's such a losing battle - the results are never all that convincing, and they're erased within 24 hours. Bleh.

Kal - Chocolate.

Julie - I actually blogged about this once. It's all about setting - Gosford Park, the Indian longhouse - and the "who" usually comes out of the "where." Most recently, we were Samuel Pepys and the chambermaid, actually. (That will be news to hubby, I think. There is no dialogue element to these fantasies.)

Jen - Yeah. I feel like we're past that early comment-for-comment stage - I know we're good, and I don't keep track of who's commenting more. (Did you notice me gossipping about you the other day, sister?)

Jenny said...

It's amazing how you can get us to comment when you ask for funny stories about our kids!

Walking in the woods last weekend, my four year old said, "Sometimes spiders make webs on my nose."

bubandpie said...

Jess - I HAVE posted about my first kiss before, actually: here.
It was one of my first posts (not many people know about it!).

Mary Jo Graves - I just tagged Mary G for a meme yesterday - she's a grandma! I know there are others, but hers is freshest in my mind right now.

Erin - Writer, reader, teacher, parent, partner. (Is that cheating?) Pie always gets upset when the dogs up on top of the dirigible are told "Do not play up there! Go down!" "Yes play up there!" she always insists, so I reply, "Okay dogs, you can play up there" and only then can we turn the page.

Nomo - Making me think! (I guess after your TV round-up today I owe you a book round-up.) The Bible, P&P, GWTW, AoGG, complete works of Shakespeare, Jane Eyre (or Villette? - I can't decide), Clarissa (because it's really long), Song of Ice and Fire (all volumes), and all the Farseer related trilogies. (In case it's not obvious, books are chosen for length, re-readability, and escapism. I'm assuming I'll be on the desert island for awhile.)

Ewe - Ooh, fun meta-blogging question! I have no drafts in the works right now - one of the things I like about blogging is the instantaneousness of the instant feedback, and having a backlog takes some of the excitement out. I feel like I write my posts very quickly (with lots of re-reads, though) - but when I actually look at a clock, usually an hour or two has gone by.

Alison - I really loved teaching the first-year survey course: poetry, fiction, drama, Chaucer to the present day. So much variety, and lots of really wonderful short poems. I love the enthusiasm of first-year students and I really like what I can do pedagogically with short poems because I'm not tied to my notes, always looking for page numbers for my quotations - it's all right in front of me so I can follow the whims of discussion where they lead me. (This answer is not what I would have predicted when I started teaching - I'd have thought that honours courses and upper-year seminars would be better, but in my experience they haven't been.)

Kerry - I LOVE teaching non-intellectual books. Children's literature is a case in point, and I would love to teach a course on detective fiction. I always work in a few non-canonical books for each course.

Sin - I do lots of in-my-head planning for my posts: I often have them completely mapped out before I start typing (though one of the pleasures of blogging is being able to experiment with writing posts and NOT knowing where they'll take me). If I do a lot of pre-planning the actual writing process is quicker - more like half an hour.

Mouse - WonderPets, three episodes per morning? Of course, I'm not actually watching. I don't feel guilty about the TV I watch.

Jeannie said...

Well, since I was specifically hailed ... [grin]

We bought a house last year. We looked at all the facts and all the important stuff and then we bought it because I walked in and thought about how I could see me playing with a toddler there. (Our son was four months old at the time.) So both.

Bad parenting habit ... uh, think I'd have to go with screaming at kids in public. And definitely smacking them, I'm not down with that at all.

No, I don't watch. We don't own a television.

Cute kid story .... um. The other day I was writing out letters for my son to name (this is his favourite activity) and I drew a Z, but he was standing to the side and said "N!" and so I drew it bigger, because I thought maybe I hadn't been clear (I was running out of paper), and he got all excited and yelled "BIG N!"

That's pretty much all I got. It was very cute at the time.

b*babbler said...

1) House buying based on feeling first, then facts.

2) Bad habit? Definitely any lack of discipline, particularly in public places.

3) Yes to Grey's Anatomy. Sometimes Meredith irritates me, sometimes not. Izzie is definitely a pain, but all worth it to see my crushes - Bailey and Cristina.

4) The Peanut doesn't speak yet, so cute kid story? Yesterday she attempted to climb over the laundry basket but couldn't make it, so got trapped like a turtle on its back - all arms and legs flailing.

5) Nosy question - what is better, fantasy or reality?

Maddy said...

Hmm picked the wrong day [been a little behind lately]
1. move in before labour day, the kind of labour day where you give birth.
2.Sarcasm - always reprehensible with children.
3. no
4. nothing short enough/would need too much translation.
5. Easy question [quick translation ] what does MOFO mean?

KC said...

Me too, regular reader, less often commenter.

Meredith's hair annoys me more than anything.

painted maypole said...

not a lurker, but i'll still go for the questions!
1- both. facts get me into a house, feelings get me to make the offer.
2 - the types of movies and TV shows they let their parents watch (a 5 year old on a trip to see Nacho Libre? really?!?)
3- don't watch it
4- my daughter's first field trip is next week. Lastnight she asked my why they HAD to go on a field trip. "For fun!" I said. She replied "I have fun at school every day! I don't need to go on a field trip!"
5- what attracts you to a new blog - what keeps you coming back for more?

T with Honey said...

1) We narrowed it down by facts then make the final choice on feelings.
2) Smoking
3) Don't watch it.
4) We were at church praying and waiting for mass to begin. Princess was looking for our pastor and quietly asking "where is father lastname?" He had been in a side room putting on his vestments. Right as the organist is about to start playing the hymn Princess spots him at the back of the church. In a loud voice she shouts "There he is! There Father Lastname!" and she starts to wave at him. Everyone looks at Princess, our pastor gives her a quick smile and a small wave. Then he puts on a serious face looks to the front of the church and acts like nothing happened at all.
5) Do you have to hold back from correcting grammatical and punctuation errors when reading blogs and comments?

bubandpie said...

I'm loving these cute stories!

On to the questions...

B - Fantasy.

Maddy - Are you pulling my leg here? The "mo" is for mother, and the "fo" - well, um, that's a word I promised BlogHer ad network I wouldn't use on my blog.

PM - An over-simplified answer would be that similarities attract me to a blog and differences keep me coming back.

T - Nope. Nothing I encounter in blogs and comments can hold a candle to what I endure from my students.

jen said...

gossiping about me? and i missed it?

do tell.

bubandpie said...

Jen - You were (d) in my gossip quiz: "Friend to Many, Sister to All."

something blue said...

1) Feelings first and then the practical.
2) I try not to judge other parents one way or another because for the most part we are all trying to do what we believe is best.
3) No but I want to.
4) If I ask Buttercup to laugh, cry or be angry she will become a little actress and perform on demand.
5) Do you have up to date photo albums of Bub and Pie?

Marian said...

Hey! Wait a minute! Has it really come to this? Have I actually been reduced to being a lurker?? Ok, you’re right, I don’t comment as much as I used to… But it's not just here and it is only because, in my current life circumstances, I so seldom have a spare minute and a single leftover brain cell at the same time.

In honor of this de-lurking post,though, here you go (presence of brain cells not verified):
1.Both facts and feelings weigh in heavily and duke it out.

2.Non/new parents or parents of few/very young children who so readily and self-righteously judge others' parenting on so little breadth of personal experience. (And,ok, yes, the number of children at the store after 11pm is a little astounding.)

3. Nope.

4. When I came back from a quick trip to the pharmacy this evening, my 2 year old came rushing to greet me, saying excitedly, "Are you back?!? I'm so glad you're here! I LIKE you!!" Talk about pure love. =)

5. Hmm. Someone took my question about blog composition. Behind-the-scenes logistics like that always pique my curiousity (which makes me a joy to watch Survivor with, my husband might inject here). How about this: how would you define the word "feminist"? (Or, if that's too weighty,what's your favorite comfort food?)

nonlineargirl said...

1) facts
2) helicopter parenting
3) I don't watch
4) One that will stay with us to her adulthood: she watched me use the toilet. When I pulled up my pants she said: "good job Mama!". Mm, thanks.
5) Do you lose sleep to read? If not, how do you get so much reading done?

Bonus (since you asked over at SBB): to center that button before and after the html add < center > (except with no spaces, and with a / in the second center).

alpineflower said...

Oh, what the heck. I'll comment here too.
1. Both. Enough floorspace? Check. Pretty paint on the walls? Check.
2. Inconsistent meting out of threatened punishment.
3. No.
4. She's not talking yet, so cute kids stories are coming later.
5. If you could/had to live in the US, where would you live?

Anonymous said...

I'm a lurker...actually a new one. Just found your Blog somewhere else where I was, yeah, lurking. I don't have a blog, don't want one and feel happy just existing as a traveling lurker. That's okay, right? Anyway -- I learned this little ditty when I was a little kiddy: I eat my peas with honey. I've done so all my life. It makes the peas taste funny, but it keeps them on my knife. :-) Enjoy! Tessa B.

Raji said...

I thought of the British pub thing too the first time I saw your blog and Im an Indian!! There must be something there then!
Oh and Im not sure if I have commented a couple of times here...but I do read your blog regularly and promise myself that I will muster up enough courage to let mine go public... Soon! ;)
1. House buying - based on facts before we start seeing - but once it meets them, it should also feel right!
The house we own now, our first, was bought completely unplanned. We werent even looking to buy a house,we walked in referred by one of our friends, fell in love with it AND it fit all our requirements - area, sq ft, price,schools. We bought it - best decision we ever made.
2. Feeding really young babies junk food.
3. Meredith is bland and insufferable!!
4.My 2 1/2 year old daughter has made her first "best girlfriend". So she now sings Ring o Roses last line as "Ayesha Ayesha, all fall down"!
5. How do you decide what to blog and what's not on?


Beck said...

1) My house was so astonishingly cheap and vast that it would have been stupid NOT to buy it. Of course, now we're stuck with this huge unsellable monster, but it's still an awesome old place.
2) Letting their children watch inapproriate television, like my in-laws letting my poor husband watch The Exorcist at SIX.
3) Not any more. Meredith makes me want to pull my own eyeballs out.
4)A cute kid story? The Baby pretended her big red ball was an egg and carefully carried it all around the yard.
5) You REALLY want me to ask you a nosy question?

Nowheymama said...

1.) Feelings.
2.) Bad grammar.
3.) Both.
4.) As I shared on my blog recently, the other day while K. was cutting up her turkey burger, she said, "Remember, old country people used to cut up their meat."
5.) What's your favorite nosy question to ask someone?

bubandpie said...

Sin - I forgot to answer your Myers-Briggs question! (And yes, I did realize it at 5:40 this morning.) I'm an INFJ.

Blue - I totally do. I'm rarely able to wait even until hubby gets to look at the photos before bam! they're in the album.

Marian - By the strictest definition, a "lurker" would be someone I could not possibly hail by name in my post - but I do include you in my mental list of people who I know are out there, and who make me especially happy when they do say hi. ;) On to your feminism question: I'm tempted to fall back on the "radical idea that women are human beings" line, but that seems unnecessarily denigrating to those who do not identify with the term. Personally, I feel that feminists are those who do not believe that society is best served by attempts to define, manufacture and/or enforce ideas of what men and women are supposed to be like. Favourite comforts foods: warm vanilla pudding, mashed potatoes, homemade applesauce. Mmmm.

NG - Lose sleep to read? Absolutely. Always have.

AF - How about Cambridge, Mass.? That wouldn't be so bad.

Raji - I end up blogging almost all my ideas - when I get stuck for an idea, I fall back on one of the ideas that I had previously rejected as dumb and do that instead. (So you can expect a post in the form of a job ad sometime in the next couple of weeks, I think.)

Beck - Yes I do please! (You've got me intrigued - do you think your nosiness exceeds that of the rest of my readers?)

-The Shiny Happy Mama- said...

I've been reading your blog for a few weeks and love it! So, I'm now officially de-lurked.

To answer:
1.) House buying based on schools, facts, size, and neighborhood.
2.) I have two parenting peeves. I hate when parents ignore screaming children. I also cannot stand it when new parents expect everyone else to follow their child's schedule.
3.) I used to watch Grey's regularly, but now I don't. Last season was a disaster. Mer is OK, but Izzie is an abomination.
4.) Cute kid story: My middle child sang several songs from The Sound of Music while we were on the T yesterday. Everyone clapped when she finished!!!
5.) Do any of the presidential primary candidates stand out for you? Do you have a favorite? Why?

Luisa Perkins said...

D'oh! I missed the party entirely. But I'm no lurker, as you well know.

Laural Dawn said...

I comment often, but still. I'll answer question #1.
1) Totally by feeling. When we bought our house it was really weird. I knew the neighbourhood we wanted, and our condo was almost sold. I drove past and the house was for sale! With a real estate agent I'd known since I was 4! I felt it was meant to be.
5) Question - Are you the kind of person who will go to any hair stylist just to get a cut, or do you have a long-standing love affair with a specific stylist (like I do) and if so ... for how long?

The Monkey House Chronicles said...

Hi there, frequent lurker, very infrequent commenter here. I don't usually have much of substance to contribute, but this is too tempting!
1. When we bought our house last year, all the houses we looked at had the whole area, price and square footage going for them, but this one had the feeling. Same with the last two. I just knew.
2. Yelling. In public. Not in a quiet way. I lose patience too but try to do it quietly and in a way that does not embarrass my kids or myself.
3.I used to watch the Anatomy but got over it with the whole George thing. Then there was her sister, and I find Meredith insufferable more often than not anyway. That said, I just transferred with the Private Practice show. We'll see how long that lasts...
4. While playing with her doll, my daughter explained to her grandmother that she stays home and watches her baby on Monday Tuesday and Wednesday while her husband goes to work, then he stays home the rest of the time. We do not have this schedule. Is she trying to tell me something?
5. Do you hate laundry or ambivalent about it?

bubandpie said...

NWM - Favourite nosy question: What's your Myers-Briggs personality type? (Often followed by, "Oh, you don't know what it is? Here, take this handy online test!") I'm very popular.

SHM - I don't put a lot of effort into following American politics, but I think it would be fun if Hilary got in.

Laural Dawn - I like being able to get haircuts on impulse - just show up at the mall salon and walk in. The problem is that I can get some really terrible haircuts this way, so I've been trying to do better with the whole appointment-making part. In practice, that means I get a haircut four times a year.

Shari said...

I am an occasional lurker. I don't think I have commented yet, though.

1) The facts overwhelmingly influence my feelings. One of the facts I have to deal with is that my Hubby is feelings-based. If the house fits the criteria I have set out, and also what I know Hubby to like, then I feel better. He is far more picky than I.
2) Lack of consequences, and especially the parents who persist in using the "Stop, or I'll say stop again" approach when their children are clearly ignoring them.
3) I find her sad, more than either charming or insufferable. Meredith wallows in her own dysfunction. Her character is so deep in it that there is room only for her own self-absorbed thoughts.
4) My son told me he didn't like his turkey and mayo sandwich I had sent for lunch, and to please not to send it again. When I informed him it was bologna and butter, he said that was okay then and I could send it again.
5) What is your favorite comfort food?

Gwen said...

Being the 73rd cooperator leaves me: with no questions. And no answers. And that would pretty much sum up my current mental state.

Oh, except wait: I HATE Izzy. Please, please Katherine Heigl, take the clue the writers are giving you by creating the very worst story lines (because how can you like anyone who screws Callie over?) and leave already for you big movie career.

Karen said...

You are in my Google reader, so I read you pretty much every day (except for yesterday, because I didn't get on the computer - not one whit). I have not one clue if I've ever commented once during the entire time I've been reading you!

1) Buying a house is purely an emotional decision. Sure, there are considerations, but I think pretty much everyone buys on their feelings (even though they think they are buying on strictly facts)
2) Ignoring their kid's bad behaviors and not training them properly.
3) Nopers - don't watch tv.
4) When my son was three, I was telling him a story about when I was his age and when it was finished, he had a puzzled look on his face. I asked him what was wrong and he replied, "Mom...exactly WHEN did you turn into a girl?"
5) Do you make your bed every day?

Mommy off the Record said...

I watch Grey's Anatomy and I find Meredith annoying as heck.

Cyndi said...

I have been reading/lurking for a few weeks. I guess this is what I needed to comment.
1)I buy a house first based on fact, then on feeling.
2)Older kids with pacifiers.
3)Don't watch
4)My 7 month old is trying to crawl and looks like he is doing the worm.
5)Okay, personal question- how often do you shave your legs and does the amount change according to the season?

bubandpie said...

MHC - I'm okay with laundry. It's a pretty good pay-off in sense of accomplishment for not all that much effort. What I don't like much is when my children are unfolding the laundry faster than I can fold it.

Shari - All the fall favourites: warm applesauce, mashed potatoes - stuff prepared on the stovetop on a crisp fall afternoon.

Karen - Making beds - yes. Pretty much every day. (I make my children's beds too - as I've confessed before, I am not among those who can train their two-year-olds to make their own beds.)

Cyndi - Once or twice a week in summer and once or twice a month in winter. But never properly - whenever I go out in strong sunlight I find heavily forested areas that have obviously been neglected for MONTHS.

PunditMom said...

Grey's Anatomy? Guilty as charged. As for Meredith, she's charming AND insufferable. How is that possible?

Kit said...

The Dark is Rising is one of my favourite children's series - 5 books with an old -fashioned Light v. Dark theme, set in in England maybe 30/40 years ago. The first one Over Sea, Under Stone is more of a light hearted treasure hunt, but the next ones are absorbing enough for adults as well as children, delving into ideas of Old Magic and the battle of the Light against the dark forces, with a boy called Will Stanton, who on his eleventh birthday finds out that he is one of the Old Ones and has powers and responsibilities - not a hint of super-heroes either!

AmandaD said...

Well, not sure if you wanted those of us who often comment to participate, but I'll be presumptuous and do so.
1. Today, if I were to buy a house I would *so* do it based on the size of the bathtub. We have two little girls and a baby due in April. I stand 5'10". Our tub does not cut it for any of us.
2. Obese children riding in carts filled with certifiable crap at the grocery store.
3. Don't watch it, though if she's the one who just got married in real life, I find the coverage therein insufferable.
4. I woke Briar up last night at 11 to pee. She's been sleeping in underwear for about 3 weeks. She'd been down for 3.5hours and we feared she would not wake up and would wet the bed. I carried her to the bathroom and she managed to pee while still completely asleep. Her compliance and vulnerability gripped my soul.
5. Nosy. Drawing a blank. I would be embarrassed to have someone see the state of my underwear drawer. Do you have a thing or place in the house that you must straighten or lock before someone comes over?

Antique Mommy said...

1) I can't really be bothered with the facts like price and how are we to pay for this. My concerns are can I have my own closet and is it a nice safe neighborhood.
2) I sometimes yell yet I can't stand it when I see someone else yell at their kid.
3)I watch no regular TV, just snips here and there. Not because I'm intellectually above TV and I'm all about books yada yada, but because I never get the opportunity. My fantasy involves me, a hotel room with room service and a remote control.
4) Sometimes when Sean is trying to tell me something he'll say, "For example" and that cracks me up.
5)Would you ever consider moving to Texas? It's quirky here. You'd like it.


hmmm a question for you. If you had a superhero name, what would it be.

radical mama said...

My biggest pet peeve with other parents is being over-hygienic. Parents who chase their kids around with hand sanitizer. We build our immunity at the radical house. (I admit, partially due to sheer laziness.)

Here's my question: do you wear actual, made-to-sleep-in pajamas to bed or whatever ratty t-shirt is on top in the drawer? (Uh, I do the latter, for the record. :) )

Oh, and I am so glad I am not the only one who doesn't shave regularly or very well!

bubandpie said...

Amanda (I always think your name is "a man dad") - The kitchen counter is my hot spot (in Flylady terms) - all week it fills up, then I clear it off and it fills up again a day later.

AM - If I did move to Texas it would only be for you and Kyla! The funny thing is that I was reflecting just today (after reading a post at Half of the Sky on the Texas A&M football game) how utterly unimaginable it is to me to live in Texas. Rather like living in Camelot or Atlantis.

mamakie said...

I've been lagging lately - too overwhelmed by life to keep up with blogging / reading....but hopefully today is getting me back on track.

1. House buying - a bit of both, but ultimately a feeling. You just know when a house feels right.
2. Bad habit judging - probably sleep habits. I let my kids cry it out.
3. Greys - Most definitely....can't wait for 9pm! Meredith, I find insufferable, really. I'm really going to miss Burke as I loved the Burke/Cristina combo!
4. Cute kid story - I had my son at the gym's daycare yesterday and had to return to change him bum. Didn't have my glasses on so when I put him on the change table he says to me "my mom's not here". Poor kid, didn't even recognize me.
5. Haven't read all the comments so sorry if I repeat....what got you into blogging?

Steve said...

de-lurking... mostly because one or more of your many commenters usually has spoken for me already...

1) 50/50 - even if it was the perfect 'feeling', the price, size, neighborhood, etc could override that feeling. That said, even if the facts were perfect, it's still gotta feel like home when you walk in.

2) Allowing kids to watch anything on TV or at the movies. Unbelievable.

3) I do, but only because my wife does. I find the entire show insufferable, but Meredith is insufferably unwatchable.

4) When Owen was around 2, there were 3 days in a row where he got out of bed from his nap and fell back asleep in the craziest of places (one was the top drawer of his dresser). Just those 3 days and then never again.

5) How did you get to the point where you have 80+ comments per post?

Gwen said...

Am I allowed to delurk if it's not October 3rd anymore? I am a true delurker. This is my first comment.I can't even remember anymore how I found your blog... Maybe from Mcewen (Whitterer on Autism)? I'm a regular reader. Your blog is one of my favorites. I wish I could blog as well as you do...
1) I just wish I could afford to by a house, way too expensive real estate is... but I would probably have to go on feeling -- a "this is it" feeling
2)Giving in to whining or begging
3)Yes, my guilty pleasure show. Neither. I think the right word for her is confused.
4)I love your stories about Pie (and Bub, too). What a cutie. I used to nanny for a little girl, M. One day, she was about 4 years old, I explained to her that she had to have some veggies with dinner. She looked right at me and said seriously, "I'm not a vegetable person, okay?"
5) I LOVE asking questions, so I'm not going to pass up this chance. Hmmm. What is one of your daily "necessities" that some people consider a luxury? (I have two, Starbucks and Tivo)

bubandpie said...

WW - How about Barbalib? She's not a superhero, but she does have the power to shape-shift AND her entire body is orange (that's got to count for something).

Rad (can I call you Rad?) - Real PJs, all the way - but mine can get pretty ratty (some of them date back to the early '90s).

Mamakie - I started my blog within a week of discovering that such thing as mommy-blogs existed - it was love at first sight. More specifically, I was inspired by Her Bad Mother, who was posting about some things that were very close to my experience at that time.

Steve - Well, this is the first time I've broken the 80-comment barrier, so I don't know if I can answer THAT question. For a long time, my commenters were all people I had visited first. Then I got some links in popular blogs that drove new traffic my way (notably Mom-101, Owlhaven, and most recently Swistle). I get lots of newcomers nowadays (people who find me before I find them), but the comments-out to comments-in ratio is still pretty stable - I may not leave QUITE as many comments per day as I receive, but it's close.

Gwen - I can live without Starbucks and I can live without television, but nothing must interfere with my breakfast: coffee, Tropicana orange juice, Life cereal with brown sugar and 1% milk. Any departure from that will throw me into a tailspin.

Rachel said...

Hi B&P

I understand what you say about wanting a record of their childhood but my question was more relating to the public arena aspect of it rather than the personal record for the children.

Also, what do people mean when they say Bub & Pie sounds like a British Pub. I live in England and I can safely say that it doesn't sound like a pub name to me!


bubandpie said...

Rachel - The record-keeping aspect struck me as relevant because your question made me ask myself how I would feel if I discovered that my earliest years were documented online. And the answer was that I'd be delighted by the existence of the record and pretty much unfazed by any sense of privacy violation.

Of course, that's me, and there's no guarantee that my children will feel the same way. I have taken the measure of ensuring that no one googling their names will land on this blog. That doesn't rule out accidents, of course - it's at least theoretically possible that someone in the future could stumble upon this blog and link it to one of my children. I'm not convinced that would be problematic, really, nor do I have a problem with bloggers who use their names.

The privacy discussion I referenced earlier can be found here - I agree with Andrea's arguments, though I can't say that they were the reason I feel comfortable blogging - it's more that her post articulates a rational basis for the total lack of discomfort I feel putting these kinds of anecdotes about my children into the public sphere.

radical mama said...

I always wondered if there are people in the world who sleep in actual pajamas. I wear pajama bottoms in the winter, but I don't think I have ever owned a matching pair, or a nightgown.

Mommy-Like Days said...

1) Both, but really it's all feelings.
2) I judge parents who yell at their kids in public.
3) Don't like it/hate her (but how about last night's Survivor? Good episode. . .)
4)Geister peed on the toilet today, as Maddy watched/coached (I happened late upon the scene).
5)What did you think of last night's Survivor?

bubandpie said...

MLD - You ARE a bit of a sly lurker. I spent a few minutes trying to figure out who "Maddy" is and then concluded you mean "Daddy." Do you mean that he was standing up and aiming for the Cheerios?

I haven't watched yet - I was at a parents' meeting for the nursery school. Maybe Bub and I will watch together now (he always enjoys watching the challenges).

Marie said...

I'm only a lurker sometimes. Well, often, but less and less often.

1) We had our house built last year, and for us it was how much usable space could we get for our money (our funds being limited and our family being a growing one). We love it. But I would choose an adorable little cottage based purely on feeling if I wasn't married and had no children.
2) Parents who threaten, threaten, threaten and have no follow-through. (Johnny, I'm going to leave without you. Look, Johnny, I'm going... Johnny, you come here right NOW) Don't they realize their threats mean nothing?
3) I do watch Grey's Anatomy, and I don't care much for Meredith. I wouldn't want her for a friend. She's self-absorbed and always feeling sorry for herself. I was surprised by how many people don't like Izzy. I find her really likable, even though I disagree with 90% of what she's doing.
4) Overheard today as I was painting our front steps and My Hero and kids were picking rocks from the front yard: "I weally wuv Mommy." My Hero: "You do? I really love her, too." "You weally wuv Mommy?" "Yes." In a super-inquisitive tone, "Why??"
5) What's your favorite spot on earth?

Veronica Mitchell said...

1) The facts make me like a house, but the feelings make me reject the wrong house.
2) Teaching children to be sneaky or lie.
3)I watched the first season's first dvd to see what all the fuss was about. Definitely insufferable. And every time "Dr. McDreamy" entered a scene, my husband said in a dopey voice, "I'm a puppy. Love me."
4)I think I tell all my cute stories on my blog.
5)Which saint of the past (not necessarily canonized) do you most admire and/or identify with?

bubandpie said...

Marie - Tough question. Quebec City, London (England), New York City and Prince Edward Island all come to mind - those are places where I've been incredibly happy just to be there, regardless of what I was actually doing. Closer to home, the beach cottage is a contender - as is my kitchen table when the children are napping and I have a hot cup of tea.

Veronica - Does C.S. Lewis count?

A Whole Lot of Nothing said...

Huuuuraaaaaayyyy!!! I'm a little late on the Mofo day, but I'm trying to catch up this weekend.

As my boss/principal used to say, appricate your comments on my blog as well.

You're one of my faves!

Greg S. said...

I suppose I qualify as lurker, though I have commented once or twice. I've been following for a few months now, usually checking in once or twice a week (and catching up.) I have no kids, and can never be a mom, so sometimes I feel a little like an interloper. But your posts are frequently entertaining and I enjoy the mix of whimsy and thoughtfulness. And I can just picture Bub and Pie.

1) Having recently bought a house, I can definitively say both - the facts first to weed them down, and then feeling for the final selection. Now that we've moved in, I wonder how much of the feeling had to do with the previous owner's decorating?
2) I really disagree with the child leashes, but I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. I really dislike seeing parents discipline a child in public. I know that doing it "now" is important, but that doesn't mean you can't march them off somewhere more isolated, does it?
3) Occasionally. I like her, but she can get to be "too much."
4) Not mine, but my best friend's daughter: one day my wife was walking the dogs in the park with a friend and her daughter. The adults were chatting, letting the dogs run, and only generally watching where the two-year-old was. So they didn't notice that she had, unannounced, dropped her pants and squatted to pee - right on the path. Thankfully, no one else was in sight at that moment, but we all found it quite humorous.
5)So many good questions have already been asked... Mmm, sort of a three-fer: did you feel that you were ready for parenthood before you had children? And do you still? Does anything in the future of child-rearing still intimidate you?

cheesefairy said...

I am late to de-lurking day but you are at 99 comments and I simply must push you over into 100.

1. Sadly, as I live in a suburb of Vancouver, housing choices are based 80% on practicality and 20% on gut. On the other hand, gut trumps practicality if necessary. If we ever move to Saskatoon, it's gut all the way.
2. Parents who talk about their kids in front of them.
3. I watch GA and do other things at the same time. I find Meredith excruciating.
4. We have a book about a cat named Boots who is hiding from her owner. We read the book with an over-the-top fake British accent everytime the owner calls "Boooooots!" My son (15 mo) has recently started calling his yellow rubber boots (from across the room) in much the same fashion.
5. Do you prefer sweets or savouries? Is it a different preference post-pregnancy? (as I scarf cookies like a madwoman)

bubandpie said...

Cheesefairy - I think I love you! When I saw that three-digit number just now it was as if my limbs had turned to water. As for your question - sweets all the way, baby. (Pre-baby and post-baby.)

Greg - I would have answered your question before ('cause it's a really good one), but I couldn't bear to be the one who tipped the scales on the comment-meter. Now that that's taken care of, I can get on with your question:

Absolutely not. In terms of finances and career, it was not in any way a practical time to start a family (though in terms of biological clock it was). I figured that if I waited until conditions were appropriate, I'd never have any babies.

And the terror! In my third trimester I was quite ready to attend prenatal classes and learn about the stages of labour, etc. - but the stuff about infant care was so terrifying I couldn't even contemplate it. My terror did not diminish once Bub was born - far from it: most of that first year was spent in a debilitating state of panicked helplessness. All of it seemed overwhelming, even little things like figuring out how to collapse a stroller.

I don't have that kind of panic or terror now. I may have concerns for the future, but not that sense of utter strangeness and panicked incompetence. Thank goodness.

Momish said...

Not a lurker, but still. I have to respond because I find Merideth to be a total bore and the most uninteresting character on the show.

As for the house, I knew I wanted my house by the time I got to the kitchen. My realtor was asking, "Do you even want to see the rest of the house?" And I was saying, "I have to have this house!" The tiny details had me at "hello". We totally overpaid.

Anonymous said...

I'm new ... came here from Postcards from the Mothership.

4. My 19 month old just learned how to give kisses (big sloppy ones) just in time to point to my newly pregnant belly and say "baby!" and give the belly a kiss. (sorry to post anonymous but I haven't told anyone IRL yet)

bubandpie said...

Anonymous - Congratulations! (I'm delighted that you're revealing your news here, even if it is incognito.) That's my one regret about having my children so close together (and not planning any more) - Bub was 20 months when the Pie was born, and he had absolutely no concept of what was going on. I can remember when my mother was pregnant with my sister, how exciting that was, but neither of my kids will go through that.

(Come back again sometime and use your real name!)