Saturday, November 17, 2007

The Many Faces of Pie

Sports Commentator: (from the kitchen table, observing the behaviour of the furnace guy) Dere’s a man downstairs. He’s fixing the house. The man camed upstairs! The man went outside. He opened the door. The door is shut again! The man comed back in the house. Do you hear that sound? It’s the man.

Weather Reporter: It’s snowy! The cars are all covered! (runs to the other side of the house to see if the back yard is experiencing the same phenomenon) There’s snow all over the grass! Everything is covered!


UN Negotiator: I want blueberries from the freezer. No, not a sandwich. Not cheese. No peanut butter! No eggs! Not lunch then blueberries – how ’bout blueberries then lunch? (a few minutes later, smugly) The blueberries are in my mouf.

Cruise-Ship Recreation Director: Come on, mama! Let’s go in a circle: fast, fast, fast ... slo-o-o-ow. Chase me, mama. Fast! Sloooow. No, mama, you don’t say “fast” – I say “fast.” Fast!


Zombie: Arggghhh. I’m going to eat you up. (advancing steadily with a husky growl) Arggghhh.

Runway Model: I don’t want dose pants (rejecting my proffered pair of dark brown leggings). I want dis one! (turquoise velour with pink floral embroidery) And dis! (an orange shirt) Put my shoes on for me (holds out black patent leather mary-janes with lace bows on each toe) – I need some help. (ecstatically) It matches!


Fishwife: (protesting my attempt at furniture rearrangement) This chair doesn’t go here! That’s daddy’s chair – give it back RIGHT NOW! No! Don’t put it there! Do! what! I! say!

Investigative Reporter: Who’s dat lady? What’s she got? She has a bag. What’s inna bag? Where’s dat lady going? What’s her name? Is she that boy’s mama? She’s not my mama – she’s that boy’s mama!


Costume Designer: You don't got clothes on, mama. You got pyjamas. Put your shirt on. And your watch. No – put on earrings first. That’s better.


I don’t want to put my shoes on.

53 comments:

odd facts said...

Made me laugh. Thank you.

Veronica Mitchell said...

Oh, the curls. Oh, the cuteness.

Damn these old ovaries. Work, would you!

Mary Joan Koch said...

I want one of those. She is utterly adorable. I so wish I had written down some of my girls' sayings.

Suki said...

That is so utterly cute! Thank you :)

Suz said...

So cute!!

Mouse said...

This cracked me up. She sure is nonstop!

Julie Pippert said...

LOL too, too funny!

Do you ever just zone out? I do and am caught up short. Which is bad news, in the Mom job.

Love how you broke this down...and adorable photo.

Julie
Using My Words

b*babbler said...

What a little chatterbug! What a little cutie!

narwhal said...

I think 80 % of blogs are women talking about their kids. What do you think? And will your kids forgive you when they've grown up? Just a thought.

Marian said...

At least that furnace guy was NOT going to get away with stealing anything from your house. (Well, besides the $90.10.) "The man is looking around. The man is picking up ________. The man putted it in his pocket..."

the dragonfly said...

Precious!

Aliki2006 said...

This was perfect to read--I loved the Love Boat picture--brought back some old memories...

Mrs. Who said...

First you can't WAIT until they talk and then you can't WAIT until the next cute expression. My son used to sing "Swing low, sweet Cheerios..." Ah, the memories.

Thanks for sharing.

bubandpie said...

Narwhal - I hope my children will grow up with a sense of humour and an ability to let go of petty grievances. If they turn out to be the kind of people who nurture deep feelings of betrayal because some of their toddler antics are recorded on the Internet, well then the blog will be the least of my worries.

Kathryn said...

Oh my WORD! Could that pic be any cuter? What an absolute DOLL! So cute!!!!!

Magpie said...

I love her. I have a Runway Model myself.

Maddy said...

Why do we listen? Why do we obey?
Cheers

Karen said...

what a cute pumpkie, Pie/ pumpkin pie!
Thinker's main role in life used to be narrator. He used to finish my sentences with "said mommy."

Lady M said...

Ah, the rise of the UN negotiator. Good skills to have, but I wish they wouldn't practice on their parents.

slouching mom said...

I had a comment, something about the state of toddlerhood being very close to the state psychiatrists call mania, but then I saw her picture.

And I had a little why-don't-I-have-a-girl-tantrum, a bit of mania of my own.

Swistle said...

Oooooo, I WUV her! I wan her come wiv wif me. *smacks side of head to dislodge cutesy impediment* That was YOUR FAULT.

edj said...

She's awesome--so multi-talented, so opinionated.

Lawyer Mama said...

I love toddler-speak.

KAL said...

OMG, hysterical! Thank you for the laugh :)

Niksmom said...

Oh. my. goodness. Could she be any funnier or any cuter?? And can she marry my son when they grow up?

JCK said...

These are GREAT. A crack up. I'm starting to see why men think we boss them around...they may have a point.

MamaDrama said...

Oh she is funny! And darling too! My 5 yr old was the same way, nonstop talking and bossing. It's cute and then suddenly you feel like your head will explode from all the words! My 18 mo old daughter doesn't have nearly the vocabulary yet, but I can just see her gearing up to start bossing us around when she's ready!

And my vote is for writing it down and hoping they'll thank us later. I thought your comment to narwhal was very polite and appropriate. Ever notice how people making snarky comments are always anonymous or have no link?

nomotherearth said...

Narwhal's a killjoy. Love the post.

painted maypole said...

cute

I shocked my mother once, when after days of her listing what MQ would be ("she likes to build with blocks, she could be an architect!") we were at the park and MQ was swinging around a pole and I said "Maybe she'll be a pole dancer"

Antique Mommy said...

That was funny! Oh the questions, they never stop around here.

Jaelithe said...

"Who is that?" said Isaac, pointing to the girl near the pumpkin.
"That is Pie," said Isaac's mother.
"No, who is that girl?"
"Her name is Pie. That is her nickname."
"That is not pie. Pie is something special to eat. That is a girl. She is not a pie."
"Her family calls her Pie, because she is sweet like Pie. Because she is a Cutie-Pie."
"Oh. She IS a cutie-pie."

Emily R said...

Oh, you have a runway model, too?

Amanda said...

Oh she looks like she is about to spill the most delicious secret of the, "Wanna know what I did?" variety.

Kyla said...

CURLS! That is one adorable slice of Pie. ;)

You kids seems to have grown by leaps and bounds since you posted photos last.

Sergeant "P" said...

Oh...man I'm glad I don't have girls. I'd pull my hair out!!!

Wait. Boys are no better.

I know you are told this multiple times-a-day...but she is soooo Ah-dor-able!!!!

:o)

Omaha Mama said...

So cute. It's tough to imagine someone so tiny and sweet talking like such a big girl!

Kit said...

Just another 'gorgeous' comment here! And didn't you know that shoes are only for after you've been outside in your socks already and got them damp ...I thought everybody knew that...

Alpha DogMa said...

I love toddler soliloquies - Shakespeare's got nothin' on the Pie.

Sue said...

It's cute, very cute. Especially when it's someone ELSE'S toddler who is talking non-stop. Sometimes when my three year old does it I have to fight the urge to run screaming from the room.

Patois said...

Loved it. You do reign supreme.

Regarding Narwhal's concern? I keep saying I'm going to give them the URL for them to take to the shrink when the time comes. Your response? Much classier than I'd have managed.

Them children of yours? Divine.

Bon said...

oh my god, she is so dear.

both in the constant commentary, and just her clever, wondrous little face.

WONDERWOMAN said...

I love that, "put earrings on first that's better" What a little girl.

Sarcastic Mom (aka Lotus) said...

Seriously, how do you not just die from her adorability?

lmao @ the runway model

Heather said...

She'll have plenty of career choices when she grows up.

Laural Dawn said...

This just cracked me up!!!!
I love the fashion model stuff. So hilarious.
If I wear something Matt doesn't like he covers his eyes and says "ahhh! take that off. I can't even look at it." (it does a lot for my confidence on those days)

Janet said...

At least she has lots of career options!

So cute.

Anonymous said...

No monday update! Is someone ill?
Best wishes

bubandpie said...

Anonymous - Actually, yes (thanks for asking!) - Bub's got the stomach flu. In the last half hour, though, he has started smacking his sister and asking for cheese, so I'm hoping he's on the mend.

AnneK said...

I don't have anything more original to say than she is cuteness itself. The dress is adorable and it matches the pumpkin. She looks so mischievous!

Kelly said...

Pure brilliance on your part, and pure cuteness on Pie's part.

Jenifer said...

Who needs shoes when you match the pumpkin so well!

Saw your comment...hope Bub is feeling better and hoping that Papoosie Girl's current high fever does not end the same way...

Stimey said...

Adorable. It's amazing what little kids come up with. They're so funny.

bren j. said...

Matching the decor - now THAT'S coordination!