With classes over for the semester, I've been adding a homeschooling component to my interactions with the children. Although Pie is only two, I firmly believe that it's never too early to begin establishing basic scientific principles. This week we have focused on physics, particularly the law of gravity and the properties of solids and liquids. The following Scientific Facts have been emphasized:
- Gravity: Snow cannot be made to go back up to the sky.
- Solids: Toast is a solid. If it is cut into quarters it cannot be made to readhere.
- Liquids: Milk is a liquid. Once it has been added to the bowl, the cereal cannot be returned to its previous dry, crispy state.
In response to these lessons, the children designed the following Scientific Experiment:
Purpose: To test the usefulness of crying and throwing temper tantrums in altering the basic laws of physics.
Method: Whenever snow/cut toast/soggy cereal was encountered, tantrums were thrown.
Observations: Tantrums had no observable effect on the temperature or depth of snow. With sufficient tantrum-throwing, however, researchers were able to alter the composition of both toast and cereal. Although the cut toast/soggy cereal could not be restored to its original state, additional toast and/or cereal could be procured.
Conclusion: Tantrum-throwing appears to have had little effect on the weather - so far. Further investigation is necessary. While tantrum-throwing did not alter the properties of toast and cereal, it did prove quite effective in altering parental behaviour. With adequate conditioning, parents can be trained to seek permission before irrevocably altering food items designed for consumption by the research team.