Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Riddle

I'm too tiny to be seen
But you'll know when I'm around.
I make children who can't keep quiet
And adults who can't make a sound.
What am I?

*****

Did you know that it's possible to do the following things without uttering a word?

  • Teach three college classes (a test, group work, presentations).
  • Have lunch with a friend who is skilled at devising conversational topics that require little more than an occasional enthusiastic nod or shake of the head.
  • Guide Bub through an apology to his caregiver's teenage daughter, whom he had greeted at the door with a shout of, "You! Stay away from me!" (This did require a whispered instruction, "You hurt her feelings!" before contrition took over.)

Did you know that it's virtually impossible to do the following things when your voicebox emits nothing more than the occasional croak?

  • Write blog posts. My inability to talk has created a kind of mental constipation, a backlog of unbloggable trivia that has to be cleared before proper blogging can resume.
  • Comfort the Pie when she's in a tantrum. My usual gambits for relenting-while-saving-face all rely on my ability to say things like, "Why don't you ask for that nicely?" When those words can't be heard above her screams of "I want it!" I have little choice but to let her flail around on the floor until her cries finally resolve into a heartbroken "I need to feel better."
  • Act like a Mama. That, at least, was Bub's conclusion yesterday when I picked him up from day-care still silent except for the occasional not-quite-a-whisper. While Pie shouted, "Talk louder!" Bub gave me a level look. "You are not able to act like a Mama," he concluded.

Ouch.

22 comments:

allysha said...

Oh, not fun! Hope you get better soon! (I'm impressed at the teaching 3 classes!)

Sue said...

I know what you mean - I feel so impotent when I lose my voice. Hope you are feeling better (and talking louder) soon, soon, soon.

minnesotamom said...

I know--laryngitis!

Karen said...

oh no! It sounds like the para- influenza virus - cause croup in small people and laryngitis in grown-ups, which is just wrong.
Hope you can act more Mama-like soon. Have you tried the strange sounding homeopathic remedy "spongia tosta," it sounds odd, but I really think it works.

Kyla said...

Feel better. There is nothing like wrangling kids without a voice. Quite the challenge.

Kelly @ Love Well said...

Whenever I lose my voice (which isn't often), my husband says a prayer of thanks.

Marie said...

It's impressive that you were able to come up with ways to teach three college courses without the use of your voice! It's funny how disapproving small children can be towards parents who are ailing. It was really hard for my three year old to understand why I didn't want to do anything but lay on the couch during my first trimester of nausea. On the other hand, he became super helpful, even patting my back as I threw up in the toilet.

bren j. said...

Ahhh....your kids are just so cute!

Hope you're feeling better and more like a Mama soon!

Shannon said...

I just did that a week ago and you are soooo right. I had the same feeling about my blog, too. And the exact same issues with the tantrums. It sucks!

painted maypole said...

"You are not able to act like a Mama"
ouch, indeed

wheelsonthebus said...

I hope it comes back soon!

Swistle said...

The last time I lost my voice, I found I had a hard time getting anyone's attention. I finally discovered clapping: two quick sharp claps.

Julie Pippert said...

Feel better soon!

Gwen said...

My students used to love it when I lost my voice, although they were strangely much more manageable. Maybe I should always have tried teaching with a Sharpie and big yellow legal pad.

Hope you're back to proper Mama-ing soon!

Jenifer said...

Feel better soon! My youngest doesn't like it when I be silly and pretend to be someone else...she will insist that I be Mommy - RIGHT NOW.

kgirl said...

It's funny that your kids want you to talk louder - mine is always telling me to talk quieter.
(I'm an Eastern European Jew and she is clearly a WASP like her daddy.)

Jaelithe said...

Awww. That's harsh, Bub.

Angela said...

It frightens me to lose my voice. This always used to happen during the first two weeks of the new school year, since I wasn't used to projecting all summer long...it made me crazy. Hope you are feeling well again soon.

Janet said...

Yuck. Feel better.

Stimey said...

Oh my God, your kids. So adorable. I'm so sorry about the voice.

kittenpie said...

It's tough being a parent with no voice for instruction, questions, or answers. Get better soon!

Susanne said...

Sorry to hear about your voice. My son reacts quite well when I can't talk, and I have found out through this how much unnecessary blabbering is going on on my behalf. He is a bit scared though.

And I too can't really write or play the piano when my voice is gone.

I hope you're feeling better soon. (And don't whisper. It strains your voice more than a normal voice.)