Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A Boy and His Band-Aid

It started in early December. Bub came sprinting up the stairs, howling in agony. "Part of my thumb," he panted, "it came OFF!" He held up his thumb, and the nail was split halfway down. I quickly pulled out a box of Batman Band-Aids and calm was restored.

Fast forward three weeks. The thumb is now perfectly healed. The nail has grown in, and Bub has even permitted me to trim it. It's time, I tell him, to stop replacing the Band-Aid.

I've been looking forward to this day for weeks. Bub is no fool. He knows that when he washes his hands, his Band-Aid is at risk for falling off, so he has become determined to avoid washing his hands by any and all means necessary, including not going pee ever again. His faith in the Band-Aid is also (naturally) tied to the Batman logo: if the Band-Aid falls off while he's at school or out Christmas shopping, no regular Band-Aid will do - on one outing I had to make an unplanned pit-stop at the grocery store to buy an emergency supply.

So when I announce that we're quitting the Band-Aid cold turkey, Bub predictably falls apart at the seams. His thumb is no longer injured, but it is cold. He needs the Band-Aid to warm it up (this from a boy who flatly refuses to wear mittens when he goes outside). I hold firm - it's time to move on, get back on the wagon and leave the Batman Band-Aid security blanket behind. Distracted by a strategically planned episode of Transformers, he appears to agree. It's several hours, actually, before I realize that he has snuck back into the kitchen, stood on a chair to get the Band-Aid box out of the tall cupboard, used scissors to open the packaging, and replaced the Band-Aid himself. It's an impressive feat of planning and dexterity, but it also means we are back to square one.

That was two weeks ago. We are now up to three Band-Aids. A scuffle with Pie bent back the fingernail on his index finger, and a slight scratch to his other thumb brought our total up to three. All these injuries are now completely healed, but the Band-Aids remain. At this point, I'm shrugging my shoulders and using it to my advantage. I just hope no one calls child services on me when they hear me threatening my son, "Do you want me to take off your Band-Aid? Well okay then - get into the car."

22 comments:

Kelly said...

Fabulous.

kate w said...

Heh, that's hilarious.

wheelsonthebus said...

wow. i wonder how many he'll have by high school.

Magpie said...

A perfect empty threat!

Mary G said...

I assume the bandaids are made of Klingon?
Have you considered replacing them with nail polish, thus foiling him on the handwashing thing?
Kids!
Love it.

Mad said...

Oh, it was My Little Pony Band Aids for us a while back. She whined for a while about needing new ones but I told her she had to produce blood to get another one. Haven't heard a peep about the band aids since.

Kyla said...

Ha! He's going to have ten before too long.

ewe are here said...

Heh heh.

Kids can be such funny creatures about things like this. My littlest one had a booboo on his toe a couple of MONTHS ago, and still frequently and frantically demands booboo cream as he points at the injury that is no longer there at pajama/slipper socks time.

Sarcasta-Mom said...

That's hilarious. You may have a future hypocondriac (sp?) on your hands....

Omaha Mama said...

Maybe he needs some Batman mittens? :0)

JCK said...

Never underestimate the powers of Batman. Or the bandaid...

I love reading about your boy. He sounds so much like mine.

Jamie said...

I can sympathize. Both of my kids go have gone through Band-Aid phases, and will probably do so again. If I am ever presented with an opportunity to travel back in time, it will be to the moment I pulled down a box of Curious George Band-Aids for the first time and threw them into my shopping cart.

I will say this, though: plastering plain, boring Band-Aids with characters kids love was sheer marketing genius. (Sheer -- get it?) EVIL, but genius.

Bon said...

i am laughing and seeing my future all at once. Oscar got attached to a Thomas sticker from the sitter's house just before Christmas, and the sticker deterioration process was painful for all involved.

kgirl said...

That is hilarious. The things they get attached to... weirdos.

painted maypole said...

mq loves bandaids, too, and used to want one for every little thing... but hte problem is her sensitive skin reacts to the bandaids, and leaves marks often far worse than the "Scratch" - so we try to use them as little as possible

MaggieO said...

Ha ha ha...LOVE the band aid threat. Hilarious.

No Mother Earth said...

Bandaids are like crack in our house, too.

Nicole said...

My feeling is, it is always better to let them win the little battles, like Band-Aids or wearing the same shirt four times a week. Whatever floats your boat!

kittenpie said...

I hate having bandaids removed, too, but I suspect it's for a whole different reason...

Patois said...

It's Batman, definitely. I had similar issues with my youngest awhile ago. I guess he had powers with Batman bandages.

Stimey said...

Yeah. Jack wore a bandaid over his nipple for about three weeks once.

And, hey, you've gotta use what you can when you need them to do something!

Merle said...

The ending is pure genious! lol