Monday, September 21, 2009

Snippets

...A bit too long for a tweet, not quite long enough for a post.

  • Pie came up to me on the weekend looking disgruntled. "I don't have anything I want to do," she said slowly, searching for the right words to capture this peculiar emotion, "and I want you to think of something for me to do." There is a word in the English language that we use for this situation. And I did not tell her what it was.

  • When I came downstairs for breakfast this morning, Bub had something to show me. "It's my loose tooth!" he announced, holding it out proudly. "But the tooth fairy didn't come." I exchanged glances with hubby, aghast, assuming that he had forgotten to tell me Bub's tooth had fallen out. In fact, it came out last night after Bub was in bed, so he popped it under the pillow and was a bit surprised (though not at all upset) to find it still there this morning.

  • I went out for coffee yesterday with a woman whose oldest son is one year behind Bub in school. She has two younger sons at home in addition to her kindergartener, and though I realized she was younger than I am, I was startled to find out that she is 22 years old. She had her first baby when she was seventeen and married his father two years later. The problem, she explained, is that she has absolutely no peer group. The other happily married moms of preschoolers are all in their thirties, or at least late twenties, and the other moms her age don't have husbands or three children. And it will always be this way. When she's 35 and her kids are in high-school, she still won't have any age peers in a similar situation. That would suck. And I can sympathize with her situation, but the fact remains that I was sixteen years old when she was born.

17 comments:

Mouse said...

That last one especially gets me. The mother of one of Scooter's friends is a full ten years younger than me, which seems huge. He also has a friend whose mother is 14 years older than me (though she started much later and had fertility issues). I find I can relate to the older mom better than the younger one.

Scooter uses variations of the word "boring" far too often right now. I don't know who taught it to him, but I'm not happy about it.

Omaha Mama said...

Did you tell Bub that tooth fairy needs a whole day to get to newly fallen out teeth? I think that may have been my out. I fear the days when my B starts putting two and two together with the mystical gift-bearing fairies of the world...

ShackelMom said...

How nice that pie has no vocabulary for that situation! hope it lasts for a while!

I married and had my first child before my peers. I had three kids by the time the first of my friends had one, and then I went on to have seven kids which made me eaven odder. You just get used to having older friends and being asked for advice from those who were you 'peers' before. I found that the less I focused on the age differences of the adults, the better it works with all my friends. As adults we learn to relate to people for who they are more than age... but ten to fifteen year gaps would be daunting, especially with little ones.

Nicole said...

My oldest lost two teeth and was appalled by the idea of the tooth fairy. A fairy! Coming into his room at night! NOOOOOOO!!!! We spilled the beans and he was extremely relieved.

Anonymous said...

Our youngest was 8 and wise to the tooth fairy having experienced it many times. When he lost his last tooth, I crept into his room, stealthily took the tooth but it was taped to the sheets with masking tape. Made a loud ripping sound and my youngest opened one eye and said, "Gotcha fairy!".

Anonymous said...

Ah, Bea, it all works out. My best friend is an alarming (when I think of it) 15 years my junior. I just happen to be the odd one - had my first babe at 42. I am not only grateful for my healthy daughters, but for the kind and loving friendship of this wonderful woman, without whom I do not know how I would manage. Most of the time, the age difference doesn't matter a bit - it just gives me comfort when I am jealous of all she accomplishes in a day.

I hope you and your new friend hit it off - there's nothing like a kindred spirit in mommydom.
Kathleen

kgirl said...

Wondering exactly what word you would have used w/Pie. 'I'm not your bitch' might be harsh for a small child. We usually just go with, 'I'm not your dance monkey.' (but I am)

Anonymous said...

I'm in the same boat as your friend. First at 17, 2nd & last at 22. Married & the youngest mother in either one's class. But considering that when I conceived my 1st, my family was in the midst of experiencing my older sister's depression, birth control was not a priority. Surviving the day was. I've always felt older than I am. A family member's depression during your pre-teen & teen years does not make for a stable environment. It is hard being judge based on your age & to top it off I look younger than I am.

Swistle said...

OMG, I love the way you wrote #1. So funny.

I had my first at 25, which I would think would be pretty average/normal, but all the moms I come into contact with are 5-10 years older than I am. A lot of them didn't have kids until their mid-thirties.

Bea said...

kgirl - I was thinking of the word for how Pie was feeling (bored) and glad SHE didn't know it.

Beck said...

Your exceedingly youthful friend should move here. SHe's have all SORTS of peers. TONS. I know a 14 year old mother.

On the other hand, I am considered a very, very old mother and I was ALL OF 26 when I had my first kid.

Carol said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carol said...

A friend of mine at work is in a similar state. She is in her early thirties, but has two teenage children - 13 and 15.

She's youthful enough that she gets along best with the mid to late twenties set at work, but she has so much more life experience than we do. She seems to close to us in age, and really she IS, but she not only has kids, but they're BIG kids.

Having two kids by age 21 must have been really tough for her.

Kyla said...

I would be her friend! We are in the same boat. I am 26 with a second grader. I think some people assume I am the Big Sister. Ha!

Jaelithe said...

You mean you don't want your tiny little girl going around sighing dramatically and declaring with the distressed intonation of a Romantic poet marooned in a sea of mediocrity, "I am desperately overcome with ennui!"?

You're no fun ;)

I was 23 when my kid was born and there are times when I feel like I might as well have been 17, given how shocked people are when I tell them. I have trouble making mom friends in real life, too, for this reason. But the truth is, it's not me worrying about the age of other women-- it's other women worrying about my age. I've always gotten along better with people who are a few years older than I am. I'd much rather sip wine and discuss politics or literature on someone's gracious patio than throw back shots of vodka and Red Bull at a club where you can't hear yourself talk, and I'd rather play cards than Guitar Hero.

(Don't tell my husband about this last bit. He was a club deejay when we met. And at a mere six months older than me, he's the youngest man I've ever tolerated. Heh.)

painted maypole said...

bored. i am bored with hearing the word bored.

Kendra said...

My best friend is 15 years older than I am. Her children are grown and out of the house while my are still elementary and preschool ages. Neither of us care much about our age difference or stage of life differences -- the friendship is richer for each of us coming from a different place.

kgirl, I LOVE "I am not your dance monkey"!! I'm so using that one around our house.